What do you hide in your house? Why and where?


I’ll go first.
1)As a single dad I hide only two things in my house: condoms and grey-cover hair dye.
2)It wouldn’t necessarily startle my daughter to run into them, but I figure why make it likely?
3)Just hidden in a small grocery bag behind the medicines she ignores, like ipecac.

Nothing else really hidden. No love letters saved, and finances are just in open file drawers.

Oh, and don’t ask about that smelly oil drum in the cellar marked “pesky bill collector”. That’s just my, um, roadkill composter. And if it attracts attention, I’ve got another marked “snoopy neighbor”. :wink:

We hide the cat drugs in one particular drawer. We do that because the cats have yet to figure out how to open it. If they did, there would be catnip all over the house and three drug-crazed kitties having a hellofa party.

Oh, yeah.

That drawer has a perculiar sound to it when it is opened. Within microseconds of opening the drawer one is surround by salivating meow makers hoping for a fix. It matters not that all three could be in deep dreamland sleep in the opposite side of the house, behind closed doors, the stero is blasting, the dishwasher running and buried under a blanket with heavy books stacked on top. They still hear the drawer being opened.

I used to hide cash under my bathroom sink. My (alcoholic) husband hid beer under his bathroom sink. Now that we’re divorced, there’s nothing under there but toilet paper.

I keep a small amount of emergency cash hidden inside a Bible. I figure that if anyone goes looking for it there, they will start to feel guilty and will leave it alone.

I hide a pistol in the bed frame (no children, disassembled when visitors come over) so it can be accessed quickly without me getting out of bed.

We hide the cat drugs in plain view, on top of a tall bookcase. Scooter has yet to climb within two shelves of them.

I sometimes keep a jar of change and small bills hidden for my 14 year old to use when he needs it. If I leave it out, it disappears bit by bit.
Used to hide my birth control patches, because The Weeping Princess thought they were big bandaids and always wanted to stick one on her butt. :smiley:
I probably have some other stuff hidden around here, but since I can’t find it anymore, I don’t know what it is…forgetting what I’ve hidden/where I’ve hidden it is a major concern, so I usually keep things easily accessible.

I am a bad, bad mother, and I hide the chocolate chips and the good cookies in the freezer. The kids have no business eating chocolate chips straight from the bag (that’s MY job) and they’re perfectly happy with the cheaper cookies.


  1. My safe - which actually doesn’t contain anything extremely valuable.
  2. Because I’ve always been fascinated with hidden safes.
  3. It is underneath the water heater, in a special enclosure I built. If a thief is smart enough to look there, he can have whatever is in it.

We have crap stashed all over the house. There are guns everywhere, and various stashes of emergency money other places. The wife and I also have “safe” areas where the other has promised not to pry, so we can hide presents and stuff.

The Christmas cash that I’ve been squirrelling away is in Mr. Carmichael’s underwear drawer.

It’ll eventually go to the bank, though, every time I hit $100.


Just in case the power goes out and I can’t access any on my computer.

Never hurts to have hard copies :wink:

Wow, I was thinking I didn’t have anything hidden, but then I realized that I, too, have kitty drugs stashed away.
They’re in a drawer in the china cabinet in the dining room.
Like at Duckster’s house, it’s one place the cats can’t get to, and it even makes a certain sound when we open it. The laser pointer is in there, too.
The furballs hear the creak of That Drawer and they come running, looking for a Nip Fix or to chase the infernal Red Dot.

Hard copies…HA!

  1. chocolate
  2. so it’s there when I get a craving
  3. the vegetable crisper
    I’d like to be able to hide some decent (eg Homer Hudson) icecream but I think they’d find it in the freezer and I can’t think of anywhere else suitable.

Homes in the Southwest are almost always without a basement or attic. We noticed while the house was being built that there was a huge waste of space under the front steps leading to the first floor, and that the connecting wall was in the garage. So, bordering on fire regulations legality, once we moved in we cut a hole in the garage wall, put in a “secret door” that nobody would notice, and now we store EVERYTHING in there…Christmas decorations, appliances we rarely use, boxes of books, paint supplies…

But we really don’t have anything to hide…small amount of cash in top dresser drawer, but not enough to pay for a full tank of gas for the thief to get home. I have a regulation police billy club under the bed that a cop gave me, but that is another story,

And there is absolutely no need for anybody to open that file on my computer titled Dbase System Manuals.
It’s just boring stuff.
Wouldn’t interest anybody.
Don’t even look there.

I’ve got a .38 and two rounds (not in it) in my underwear drawer. Not really hidden, though since theres a shotgun leaning against the bookcase next to the dresser. I don’t really have any money to speak of, so I don’t have any to hide.

No secret drawer of kitty drugs and toys.
For some reason, my cat has no interest in catnip. None whatsoever. It might be because she’s getting on in years - almost15 years old. But she still likes to chase the Infernal Red Dot. Don’t need to hide the laser pointer though.

I confess: I, too, hide the chocolate from the kids (and the husband).

I keep the condoms (not needed anymore) in a top drawer.

Frankly, if one of my kids is gonna experiment, I would want them to use a condom, so they are not hidden (I need to check to see if they are outdated, thoug!)

I also have hidden away my----but that would be telling.


Only from the kids.

A collection of what Lady Chance refers to as ‘Top Shelf Comics’. Sexy or way violent comics that I don’t feel like having to take the heat for the kids getting to.

  1. Cash. One or two mildly-incriminating/embarrassing notes and some sentimental stuff. Any ‘splurge’ junk food (brand name Doritos, chocolate) I buy.
  2. I live in a dorm. The cash’ll be safe, I just think it’s fun to hide. And for anyone who hasn’t lived in a dorm recently, a reminder: good food vanishes, fast, if people know you have it.
  3. The cash is in a hollowed-out book I made myself, as are the sentimental/embarrassing things. The food usually gets tossed in a desk drawer, or, if it’s really good and I want to force myself to savor it, I keep it in my suitcase on top of my closet.

When I was a dwarf-star I would hide money everywhere I could - in small quantities to diversify my funds. It got to the point that when we moved my mom would have twenties falling out when she picked up lamps, cushions, and various other inanimate objects. Nothing has changed, since I have yet to get an actual bank account, so I have well over 300 in cash floating around in my room and unspeakable sums in checks. Considering I own no porn, condoms, or french ticklers there is not much else to hide. Well, I do have a box of crap my friend gave me and assorted things other good friends gave to me that have sentimental importance, but they aren’t really hidden in anything more then a copy paper box.

However, when I get older and own a house, it will be built by me with secret corridors, rooms, and escape routes including hidden things absolutely everywhere. Hiding stuff is damn cool.