I realize no one here is my doctor, I’m just hoping for some insight of whether this is a problem, or not.
Over the past couple of years, I’ve noticed a change in my mother in law’s behavior and I’m wondering if it could be a symptom of a medical problem. MiL is in her early 70s, her mother recently died in her 90s and suffered from Alzheimer’s.
MiL has always been a talker, but lately it is non stop. I mean that she keeps up a constant stream of talk “at” you from the time she wakes up until she goes to bed. She doesn’t really pause to let the listener respond, or take in any data from the other participants.
We went to Easter dinner yesterday and in the car she kept up a steady and I mean STEADY steam of consciousness discussion the whole time. It was almost babbling like a toddler, the sentences were coherent, it’s not like she was saying nonsense words, but it was endless regardless of what else was going on in the car. For example, my wife and FiL are trying to find the restaurant and parking and she’s just talking non-stop, oblivious that everyone else in the car was focused on another task.
She was telling me this long pointless story and would say things like: “pink dogwood!” pointing at the flowering tree as we went by, go back to the story and then “lilac bush!” It’s not like there wasn’t a dogwood tree out the window, it was just disconcerting that an adult seems to have the self control and awareness of a 4 year old.
My wife mentioned it on the way home, that her talking seemed almost out of control. Could this be a symptom of a medical issue? Anyone have any online resources to check out?
Thanks Tom, that’s a good question and one I’ll add to the list. One thing that’s occurred to me is that they don’t really interact with anyone but each other. They pretty much sit in the house and watch TV. They recently moved out here (about a year) and haven’t made any friends. I’m trying to decide if she is just starved for stimulation, or if there’s an underlying medical issue.
My mom has shown very much the same behaviors you describe - non-stop talk, extreme ADD, obsessing - since my dad died almost 4 years ago, and I’m weighing the same scenarios: starved for interaction, always been this way but dad provided a shield, medical issues or cognitive decline. I can’t help, but I can empathize!
That sounds exactly like my grandmother during her early and mid-stages of dementia.
It would probably be a good idea to get your MiL evaluated by a geriatric specialist if possible (they’ll also go over any meds to see if any of them might be causing problems).
Is there a senior center around where she could go to get some interaction with others her age outside the house?
Thanks all, good comments. romanperson, there are ample opportunities for interacting with other people, including people their own age; there’s a lot going on in their community. They both are pretty resistant though, they shoot down any suggestions and always have a reason why they can’t do it. They don’t ever really go for a walk, they just sit and watch TV. When we’re there, we’ll kind of insist we go out and do something, but left to their own they just watch TV in a dark living room.
My wife and I were talking about next steps on the way back yesterday, the logical place to start would be to talk to my FiL to get his thoughts, but he’s someone who doesn’t like to hear about problems and doesn’t like to address them.
I can tell my wife is pretty upset about things and I want to arm myself with some information and constructive ideas before I broach the subject (basically, I don’t want to unpack things until I know what I’m talking about).
The hardest part of this is going to be jollying her/them into any changes that need to be made. Hopefully she can be talked into a medical appointment with someone qualified to assess her. Do they have a regular doctor? That would be a start at least, and you’d have more to go on from there.
They both go to regular doctor visits. I don’t know if this is something, or nothing. I think a good next step might be to talk about it with my wife’s brother to see if he notices the same things. He lives pretty far away, but talks to them weekly. It’s not really my place, but like I said, my wife is upset.
I’m curious as to what she is talking about since it is non-stop and she doesn’t have much of a social life. Just random stuff or is she repeating stories she has already told you? If she is repeating herself and forgetting who she told a story to, that might worry me. (though I do that myself sometimes, lol)
My mother is starting to concern me, because she is starting to replace words with something similar which means that she is forgetting the names of things. I’ve read that doing this is a sign of dementia.
There is a lot of repeating stories, there is also a lot of talk about birds at the feeder, the dogs, gardening, politics and what she’s seen on TV. She likes to garden, but doesn’t do much these days. There is also a lot of talk about family dynamics, cousin so and so is doing this, talk about her work before she retired, etc. The political talk almost just a recitation of the days events, this happened, then this happened.
FYI there is a term for compulsive/excessive talkativeness: logorrhea. You could try Googling “logorrhea dementia” and see where that takes you - I noticed that Google auto-filled on those search terms so you wouldn’t be the first one to look.
Boy, that’s the part that would scare me. If you broach the topic and it turns out she’s fine, well you’ve kind of stepped in it.
I knew a woman who was in her seventies and talked absolutely nonstop. It was difficult to get her to stop long enough to tell her I had to leave. When I brought the topic up with her niece, I found out she’d always been that way. The niece told her aunt and I became persona non grata for my concern.
I hear you, like I said my wife has also noticed a change. If there is anything to be done, like pushing her to talk to a doctor, my wife will be the one who takes action with her family. She was upset yesterday and I told her I’d do some research and for me, that often means I start on the Dope.
It could be something, but it could equally well be all the other things you mention. New surroundings, no social interaction, no time out of the house. Do they have any pets or anything at all that would start getting them out of their shell?
You might start by asking them to join you for Sunday dinner every night. See how things progress if they’re doing more. Take them to church, if that’s your thing or theirs. (You don’t have to go in if it’s not yours). Offer to run them to grocery store, or find community events of interest that you and the grandkids can do with them. It gets them out of the house a bit more, and provides you with some more opportunities to observe them. If you have the grandkids excuse, let grandma set up a gardening bed with the kids, that will get her house of the house regularly to do things with them.
My parents made a deliberate effort to find things to do with their time to when they were in this situation. My mom joined a sewing circle, a guilt guild, the AAUW, and GEMS. My dad is on the Church Board. They have a dog, and walk him regularly. My mom gardens. They joined a dinner club. They keep busy, even though at first I’m sure it was strange going out and finding new things.
Your in-laws may just need your help to make those community bridges.
The second thrust, in addition to doing spending more time with them, which is going to be a burden for a while, is doing some research on dementia. How does the house look? Do they remember meds? Do they repeat themselves? Do they know your names? Are they better in the morning than the evening? Do they forget where they are or why they are doing something? Some of these things are normal aging and some of them get to the point where they aren’t. Some of these things can be caused by medication. If you see something that concerns, after spending more time with them, I would look for a geriatric specialist and get a consult. Even things like hearing problems can cause some strange symptoms if the person is in denial.
Just the constant talking is not seriously a tell. If you’re shut up all day with some who doesn’t talk, you might sing like a bird non-stop once you’re with someone else. Try and gather more evidence and get her or them out and about a bit more. Even a few more phone calls a week, if you can’t see them, might make a big difference. Senior loneliness can be a real struggle.
My late MIL was like that, especially after her second husband died and she was mostly alone all day. Her long stories went on and on with no conclusion or point. I once tested how long she would continue talking non-stop by listening and not saying one word or responding in any way. After about 45 minutes I couldn’t stand it any more and excused myself.
One time our very polite son-in-law was in a similar situation with her. I went and told my husband SIL is stuck with your mother and is about to go insane; please rescue him.
Thanks all, they have pets, way too many and it is a source of tension. They moved to from a very rural setting to a McMansion with a tiny yard a couple of hours outside of DC (we live in the city). They have three untrained dogs and two cats. They had three cats, but the untrained dogs killed one of they. They used to just open the door in the morning and the dogs would chase rabbits all day, now they’re all cooped up in the McMansion and they never walk them. I hate going there because of the dogs and just watching TV all day. My wife goes when she can and I go every couple of months.
It very well might be depression. They don’t seem like happy people, nothing gets them terribly excited. They just kind of sit in this big house and watch the dogs tear up the furniture.
