Mrs. Dooku and I are going to a wedding in Cape Cod this weekend. We’ve never been there, and the wedding is at 10 in the morning. Mrs. Dooku is wondering if there’s any East Coast etiquette about wearing black to a morning wedding. (We live in San Francisco, so 90% of our wardrobe is black).
I’m planning on wearing a dark suit myself, although I doubt that if there is a rule it wouldn’t pertain to the men. (I wanted to wear tan pants, a blue blazer with brass buttons with anchors on them, and an ascot, but she won’t let me :)).
According to this wedding FAQ you should “try to avoid” black and navy.
To my own set of tastes, two colors that should be avoided by any guest over the age of 10 are black and white – although in some cases black and white together might be okay.
Thanks for the link - it’s interesting that in the Bay Area I don’t see anyone really adhering to these rules - pretty much everyone wears dark colors, especially the women.
Even for women? Again, the majority of women at day weddings I’ve been to out here wear black dresses.
I’ve never been to a wedding where any of the women wore black. Some brides/grooms might not care, but if Mrs. Dooku isn’t sure whether black is ok she probably shouldn’t wear it.
San Francisco and Cape Cod are just a little different when it comes to conservatism and/or tradition.
Black is creeping in to evening weddings, but here at least it is still not done for morning or afternoons. If you absolutely must you should accessorize in color.
I’m not against black clothing in general – I wear a hell of a lot of it myself – I just don’t think it’s an appropriate choice for an event that’s supposed to celebrate the joining together of two lives.
And I would include “black dress with a bright shawl or jacket” in this ban.
Get Mrs. Dooku a nice dress in color to save for just such occasions. Considering it’s prom season, (slightly after in some areas) she shouldn’t have any trouble finding a nice formal dress-- and it might be on sale, too!
I’ve always liked light blue or lavendar for weddings in the spring. In the winter, I always opt for burgandy.
I’ve got the same wardrobe problem, and have for a very long time. I was told by my mother before going to someone’s wedding back in high school that I shouldn’t wear the black suit I really liked because one shouldn’t ever wear black to a wedding unless one is mourning the loss of availability of one of the spouses-to-be.
Of course it’s OK to wear black. I have worn a black dress to the past several weddings I have been to. Nobody gives a shit. I just happen not to like bright colors, and I haven’t found any dresses I like in color, but a lot of the clothes I have are black. Why should someone have to buy a new outfit to attend a wedding anyway?
Go to an East Coast city like New York and 90 percent of the women are wearing black. Here in the DC area, many women wear black because it is professional and nice looking, and very much in style. I see no problem with wearing black to a wedding. In fact, when I get married, I think I would like to have black bridesmaids dresses. It’s simple, formal, and the girls can wear the dresses again.
Tuxedos on guests run the risk of showing up the Groom (and Groomsmen) by being more formally/distinctively dressed than they are, which is of course impolite. If the Groom’s party is all in black tuxes, and it’s an evening wedding, and a reasonably formal affair, then you could go for it. As long as you and the wedding couple would be OK with you occasionally being mistaken as one of the best men, that is.
I think the older you are, the better you can pull off a tux (both because of natural dignity, and because you’re less likely to be compared to the Groom, and therefore less able to show him up). Fathers of the bride are of course encouraged to wear tuxedos at all times, in my book.
– Quercus (whose fashion sense normally doesn’t extend to wearing matching socks, but who did stay at a Holiday Inn express last night!)
