nyctea doesn’t speak for all of us DC-area folk. Women wearing black to weddings may be more and more done, but there are still plenty of people (like twickster, Lissa, kunilou and, in fact, myself) who consider it rather icky. I wouldn’t do it, I wouldn’t think well of someone who did, and I would snort to myself (and have snorted to myself) at a bride who chose black for her bridesmaids’ dresses. Ditto white, as that looks like an attempt to compete with or distract from the bride. There’s loads of other colors to choose from, ladies – pick one that doesn’t signify mourning in this culture and that doesn’t scream “I should be the bride!!”
Que?
Huh?
Please explain?
Everybody generally wears black in San Francisco. It’s never hot enough for the color to be too heat absorbing, plus the changing weather makes you dress in layers, so no matter what you happen to be wearing you can always throw on a layer of black. Aside from that, it’s just that everybody wears black. Don’t ask me why, but they do.
Now before the thread turns into “Well I live there and I don’t wear black all the time yadda yadda”, yes I’m sure there are exceptions, but for the most part you see mostly black clothing.
Thanks for the responses everyone - she has other dresses of course but she likes the black one. You know how it is.
And, so long as we’re offering our opinions – I never accept advice from someone who tries to support his or her argument with a statement like this.
I wasn’t offering advice, nor was I attempting to support an argument. Have a swell day.
Why not just ask your hosts if black is acceptable at the wedding?
Why not just accept that there’s a small, cranky minority of people who think it’s the wrong thing to do, and wear another color?
Um, I don’t think black signifies mourning in today’s cluture. Get with the times! Gone is the Victorian-era when widows would wear all black for a certain period following their husband’s death. Yeah Queen Victoria wore black for the rest of her life after her husband died, but that was 150 years ago. Come on. Most of my professional and dressy wardrobe is black, because that is what I think looks stylish, modern and classy. No one has ever mistaken it for meaning I am in mourning. :rolleyes:
Oh, and if I chose black for my bridesmaids dresses, it certain wouldn’t be because I was trying to scream, “I should be the bride, look at me!” Puh-leeze. It would be because (1) that is one of my favorite colors (2) that is what I think looks nice for a formal event (3) a nice simple black formal dress is something the bridesmaids could wear again on any number of occassions. I doubt they would want to be re-wearing some dusty-rose or sky-blue or emerald-green dress again, so it’s a waste of money. Also out of consideration of my bridesmaids, black is a neutral color that most everyone can agree on. All of the other “colorful” colors are bound to disappoint someone. And if they are paying for the dresses, that is not very fair.
At my cousin’s wedding last summer, many women wore nice stylish black dresses, including me, two of my female cousins, and my aunt. And my other aunt, the mother of the groom, wore a navy-blue dress. I don’t think anyone thought it was icky, and I didn’t hear any snorting either! :dubious:
Oh, phew, nyctea, a whole bunch of us were in serious danger of having our own opinions about this. Thanks for straightening us out!
It’s this Saturday. I have no way of getting in touch with them, as they’re already up in Cape Cod and I don’t know where they’re staying, etc. I guess I could try to get a message through to the wedding site, but I wouldn’t want to bother them with this minor issue in the midst of the final-few-days-before-the-wedding-madess.
She doesn’t have an arsenal of other-colored formal dresses, for one. For another, she has shoes / purse issues (out of style / don’t fit / worn) to go with with the non-black dresses she does have.
I gave her everyone’s opinion. Since it isn’t summer yet she’s going with black and a colored scarf thing. If we draw some snorting inner monologues, so be it.
Thanks again for the assistance.
HA!
Ahem.
I would pass on the black. There are enough people in the world and potentially at the wedding (or IN the wedding) that would be offended or consider it tacky, that I think I would just skip it.
That may be so, but this is Cape Cod, not New York City. Also, it’s a morning wedding, and the rules are different for morning and evening events.
I had a morning wedding in New England, and only one woman wore a predominantly black dress. It had small colored flowers embroidered on it, and she had a bright pink shawl. She looked lovely, and the black didn’t bother me at all. I think that’s a fine option, though I must admit, some people (including my mother) did comment on the black dress.
Wait, so are black suits with white shirts and a colorful tie now considered improper for a wedding? Because as somebody who attends a lot of weddings (I have at least 30 this years as a photographer), I can tell you that I haven’t been to a single wedding where the black-and-white suit was looked upon as something of an oddity.
As for women’s dresses. There does seem to be a tendency to avoid black, but I’m pretty sure that in every wedding I’ve been to, at least one woman has worn black.
Hey, err on the side of caution, I say, but I think black is a very elegant shade.