Next Saturday I have to go to a wedding. I’m hoping to avoid buying a new dress, but if I have to, I’ll shop tomorrow. I hate shopping…and fashion stuff has always been low on my radar.
The wedding is at around 11AM, in a Christian church (I think it’s fairly conservative). It’s not like a black tie thing or anything, just your standard wedding.
Now, I own a lot of black/dark dresses and pantsuits, and the lighter colored clothes that I have either seem not dressy enough or too summery. Is it ever appropriate to wear a black dress or pantsuit to a wedding? If not, what about a dress with a black background and lighter flowers? It’s short sleeved, so I’d have to find a sweater to go over it (wedding is in the DC area, so I’m assuming it will be cool if not outright cold).
Black is the color of mourning in our culture and it is never appropriate to wear a black outfit to a wedding. A dress with a black background may be acceptable depending on the pattern. Avoid pantsuits (which is a good general rule anyway IMHO). Best bet is something light. Not white of course. A “dark dress” might be all right as long as it’s not too dark.
If you want to be correct, you don’t wear black to a wedding. That is because black is associated with death and funerals. You also look like a wicked witch while everyone else is celebrating. I’m not making this up, ask Miss Manners.
You can wear a print dress with a black background, though.
On the other hand, nobody seems to know any rules anymore, and everyone at the wedding will be dressed as if attending a different event from anyone else, so you have a lot of leeway.
Not wear black to weddings? Where do you people live? Here in the NY area, it’s just fine. Even the bridesmaids wear black in NY.
A dark suit should be just fine, especially if you pair it with a dressy shirt and shoes or something. Or, the dress with the black background would work.
It definitely depends on where you live. In Manhattan, wearing a black dress to a wedding would probably be considered stylish. In Suring, Wisconsin, it would be a major faux pas.
You’ll never go wrong avoiding black for a wedding, though, so if you’re unsure, go with the print dress or a dress/suit that isn’t dark enough to appear black. An 11 a.m. wedding is not likely to be formal, so you don’t have to worry about that unless you were explicitly told otherwise.
No black.
Never.
Even when everyone else does it - they’re still wrong. (you wouldn’t jump off of a bridge if everyone else did, would you? (and please excuse me while I stop channeling my mother.))
Anyway, dark, non-black (brown, gray, or navy) would work, as would a print dress (so long as it’s more printy than black). And a pantsuit is fine.
Thanks y’all. I suppose I’m heading to the mall tomorrow, to find either a nice sweater to go over the print dress or another dress. But at least I’ll know to avoid those areas that are totally black on the racks.
sighI hate shopping. Well, only when I have to shop. Otherwise, it can be fun.
What are the dark, nonblack pantsuits like? Could you find a blouse or scarf in a festive color to go with what you have? That might be easier to find, and cheaper.
And FWIW, I once wore my best black dress to a very formal wedding in Milwaukee. It has big gold buttons down the front and a fancy neckline, and I wore a chunky gold necklace and earrings and sparkly stockings. I blended right in.
My friend got married last month and a lot of guests wore black, myself included. Some people even wore red, which I believe was also a no-no for weddings. Times have changed and we aren’t sticklers to the old rules anymore.
That said, I think you can wear a pantsuit or dress to the wedding. As long it isn’t cut down to your bellybutton with a slit up your armpit, no one is really going to care. If you absolutely have to go shopping to buy something, get something you can wear again.
I like to buy two piece items that I can mix-n-match later. I just bought a pretty, dark wool skirt that I can wear with a red, black, gray, or white top. I can use those tops with different pants in my closet.
As far as wearing black goes, I think that under the right circumstances, it’s OK. For example–my SIL had black and red for her wedding colors, with a western theme. Not only did I (the pianist and vocalist) wear black–I wore black JEANS. My sister’s wedding was also a western theme and the groom and groomsmen wore black jeans with white shirts and string ties (the groom also wore a short tux jacket–you may shudder, but the guys looked awesome). So it really depends on the type of wedding. Why not ask the bride–she would be the best one to tell you what would be OK to wear at her wedding.
I think black would be just fine as well. A nice pant suit would work too. The only definite no-no is a formal white dress,specifically anything that resembles a wedding dress.
It is entirely possible that the hispanic culture or maybe even just my family had that notion and taught it to me. Makes no difference though since I would wear red to a wedding if I wanted.
I still wonder–if black at weddings is such “bad luck”, why do grooms wear it? Do men just not know better ;).
11 am wedding=“church clothes”. Of course, some churches skew more casual than others. You’ll probably want to aim on the conservative side of dressiness for a wedding.
Keep in mind that no one is going to care what you wear unless you’re directly related to bride or groom. No one is likely to even notice if you’re wearing jeans (which I’ve done before). My parents are wedding videographers, so I see a lot of wedding footage whenever I’m around them. People only truly notice the wedding party.
Lsura-
Here in Charleston, SC, where we consider ourselves the
HEIGHT of good taste, ;), black is perfectly OK at a wedding, summer or winter, but at 11 am, its just too early to wear a black dress to much of anything. I agree that the black to funerals only rule no longer necessarily applies, but the black Ive seen at weddings has always been at evening weddings.
Pantsuit, I’d say no. But your black flowered dress would be perfectly fine, especially if you can find a contrasting color sweater to wear over it.
I think that with the right accessories, a black dress or pantsuit is appropriate. My girlfriend wore a black dress with a bright print on it to my wedding, and looked absolutely fantastic! (Almost upstaged me, the bitch! ;))
