Okay, let me say this right off bat: my idea of high fashion is wearing a nice pair of jeans and a cute top with my not-as-grungy-as-the-others pair of sneakers. The last time I was at a wedding, I was of an age where it was acceptable–nay, expected!–to wear a dress the color of Pepto-Bismol with a plastic heart-shaped necklace that had little floating bits of glitter inside. In fact, I’m pretty sure that I haven’t been to a wedding since the last Bush administration.
This suited me just fine. . .I’m not a dress-formal gal.
In the past few weeks, however, I’ve suddenly found myself invited to two weddings (and no, neither of them is my own, you smartasses ). Both of them are coming up pretty quickly.
D’oh! :smack:
So now I find myself in the state of having to buy a dress that is somehow acceptable wedding attire. Upon thinking about this for a few nanoseconds, I realize that I have no fucking idea of what suitable wedding attire would be, except to say that it probably doesn’t involve blue jeans.
So, basically, I turn to you, all-knowing Dopers, to help me out. What does a 19 year-old girl wear to a wedding? Would a prom dress work? How about black jeans? Do I shop at Deb, or is this more of a J.C. Penny’s kind of thing? Am I allowed to even wear black at all, or is that some kind of fashion faux pas? Skirt and top? Can I wear the same dress to two weddings if there would only be maybe 1 person attending both? Does it matter if that 1 person is my SO?
Depends on the wedding. I’ve seen ladies where everything from Jeans to what must have been $8K dresses (and they weren’t the bride).
We just went to a wedding this past weekend (my sisters). My wife wore a “nice” dress that was burgandy in color and had no sleeves. Similar in design to a “sun” dress but longer and the material was a bit heavier but far from “heavy”.
I know you can wear black in the NY area, but I hear it is kind of frowned upon in the midwest. Non-black may be better. But don’t wear white. That’s for the bride only.
You can definitely wear the same dress to the two events, even if the same people were attending both. If you’re a 19-year old college student, nobody expects you to have a big formalwear budget. Besides, who’s gonna notice?
As to whether you can wear a prom dress or not–depends on the prom dress. Is it really prom-y?
Jeans of any color would virtually always be a no-no. Doesn’t matter if it is a dress, skirt and top, or a pants outfit.
Depends on the parties getting married, and what kind of wedding they have planned: is it daytime or evening? Probably best to ask the bride/groom or someone else you know who is going. But definitely stay away from black and white. Black, maybe, is OK if it’s a fancy evening shindig and you wear something else with color.
The prom dress may be OK, depending; and it’s perfectly fine to wear the same dress to both.
Call any member of the wedding party (bride, groom, family member) and ask what kind of wedding it is. Casual, formal, nudist, what have you. Check the invitation for any hints, too. Oh, also, if either is a church wedding, you might want to consider what appropriate clothing is for someone attending that church (i.e. sleeveless blouses, short skirts, pants, or some types of jewelry might not be respectful).
Jeans would have been perfectly acceptable at my wedding; course, my maid of honor called me and said “What are the colors?” and I said “You got a dress you’d wear to a wedding? What color is it…green? OK, green it is.”
Pastel or light colors are most appropriate, especially for summertime weddings. Fall permits darker colors, but still not black.
Church weddings pretty much always call for a dress. It’s not normally necessary to wear a formal/prom dress, unless it’s a formal wedding, which you’d be aware of via the invitiation.
A skirt and top is pretty much always fine, as well. Since it’s summer, there are also a lot of nice sundresses out there, which are great paired with a cardigan, and you can actually wear it another time.
JCPenney is a good place to get clothes for weddings. I actually just went through this a few weeks ago (I have five weddings to attend this summer) and I bought three sundresses to wear to them.
If it’s any consolation, there are always going to be people at the wedding who are overdressed, underdressed, wearing black, white, or red or any other “faux pas.” Wear what you’re comfortable in and don’t worry too much about it.
The last time I had to dress my 20-year-old up for a wedding she wore a longish print skirt and a dressy-ish sweater top. The prom dress thing is probably a no-no unless it’s an evening, really expensive hotel wedding. Unless your prom dress is a mid-length sun dress…then you’re cool. If my daughter had gone to a fancy evening reception after an afternoon wedding she probably would have changed into a short, silvery-black slip-dress with spaghetti straps and a long, slinky black jacket over top. But since it was a morning church wedding with lunch reception at the VFW, the skirt and top were fine. Most of the older women (over 25) wore dressy suits or Sunday dresses.
I think what you choose to wear depends a lot on the type of wedding and when/where it is held. I just attended a wedding, and found myself in basically the same circumstances. I found an article on wedding wear etiquette, and here’s a quick summary of what I came up with…
Do/Don’t:
[ul]
[li]Don’t wear white - it competes with the bride. There are plenty of other colors available. [/li][li]Don’t wear black or sequins during the daytime. [/li][li]Don’t worry about wearing the same colors as the bridesmaids or mothers. You can’t possibly coordinate with everyone in the wedding party. [/li][li]Do wear something feminine and appropriate, out of respect for your hosts. Clubwear, overtly sexy clothing (strapless, see-through, etc) doesn’t belong at a wedding. If you have to ask if it’s appropriate, it probably isn’t. [/li][li]Do use good judgment if the invitation doesn’t specify the formality of the event. A pastel suit or soft floral dress for daytime or a little black dress for evening (after 6 p.m.) will take you almost anywhere.[/li][/ul]
Ideas:
[ul]
[li]Informal Daytime: Short dress or suit (business attire OK for morning weddings) [/li][li]Informal Evening: Cocktail dress [/li][li]Semi-Formal Daytime: Short dress or suit [/li][li]Semi-formal Evening: Cocktail dress [/li][li]Formal Daytime: Short dress or suit. Hats and gloves optional. [/li][li]Formal Evening or Black-Tie: Long or dressy short cocktail (beading, glam accessories, wrap) [/li][li]Ultra-formal or White Tie: Long gown, extra glitz[/li][/ul]
My personal tip: look for simplicity and versatility. Choose a dress that you can dress up with some nice accessories or a shawl, or dress down and throw a sweater over. That way, you can use it more than once and not waste a large sum of money on a dress that will languish in your closet for years. By the way, I chose a mid-length black dress with spaghetti straps (it was an evening wedding) that I found at Express for about $70. It was very simple and plain, and I can wear it again for another occasion.
Thanks for the advice y’all. I’m a little hesitant 'bout wearing florals/pastels…I might be able to get away with a gauze dress, though…something hippy-ish, for one of the weddings, as that friend of mine is rather partial towards that stuff and very informal. Still drawing a blank on the other one, though…probably’ll bug my SO later on.
If you’ve been married before, it’s often considered fun to wear your wedding dress, allowing you to relive the memories of your own wedding as you share the joy of someone else’s. If you’re worried about wearing the same color as the bride, you can always dye it red.
Hint: Don’t arrive right at the start of the ceremony.
I am a jeans and tshirt kinda girl but a skirt and top is the best thing to buy if you don’t wear them often.
Generally go with solid colors so you can mix and match.
My favorite is the broomstick skirt. They aren’t exactly in style “anymore” but I say screw it. They pack easy (no need to iron) and can be dressed up or dressed down.
Poet blouses are seemingly coming back in. They aren’t as taylored as the older versions in the mid 90s but they can also be worn with jeans if you want.
You can also get away with business professional attire (blazer, blouse and dress slacks) for a casual wedding. As a bonus, you can use them for a job interview when you graduate.
It’s probably a good idea for you to buy an all-purpose dressy dress anyway. I would avoid black (although black is being worn at weddings nowadays it’s still not universally accepted), but darkish blue, green or maroon would be fine. Remember that darker colors are going to be more universally appropriate than pastels. Look for a dress with simple lines and not too low-cut. It shouldn’t be too short, either – somewhere between a few inches above the knee and mid calf, depending on which length looks best on you. Short sleeves are more universal than long or sleeveless. Choose a dressy fabric – medium weight, with a nice drape but not too fancy. No satins or sequins, please. Avoid trendiness. You are looking for a simple, classic dress that can be easily accessorized. With strappy high heels, elegant hair and glitzy jewelry it’s a cocktail dress – appropriate for just about any dressy evening party (including an evening wedding) short of white-tie. With serious hair, plain low-heeled pumps and pearls you’re perfectly dressed for church or a funeral. With accessories and hair somewhere in the middle, you can wear this dress out to a nice dinner, an afternoon wedding, to the theater… Believe me, buying a Nice Dress is an investment. Here’s an example of the type of thing I mean.
Jess (who just wore her 15 year old, navy blue, all-purpose dress to a funeral last month.)
Yes. This is the perfect type of dress. It can be dressed up with nice accessories, or made business-like by adding a jacket. Perfect, perfect, perfect. And these are generally not too expensive and don’t go out of style next week.
). Both of them are coming up pretty quickly.