Wedding dress on wedding guest?

I was reading an advice column about a woman whose future mother-in-law intended to wear her wedding dress to the wedding. At least one other person wrote a comment about a friend who showed up at her wedding in a wedding dress. Frankly, this sounds like a sitcom setup to me, so I’ve got to ask: Have you been to a wedding where a guest showed up in a foofy white dress and veil? Or have you heard from a reliable source about such a thing happening?

I’m going to my niece’s wedding in June and I still haven’t figured out what to wear - maybe this is the answer! :smiley:

OK, just kidding about that last comment. I eloped, so I didn’t have a foofy white dress. So, wait, now’s my chance…

I have never heard of that happening, but if you decide to do it - photos will not be enough, we will require video of the bride’s reaction! :wink:

I have had a habit of collecting odd behaviours for the past several decades and although I do not make a special effort to notice weird weddings, I have never heard or seen of this happening.

One would think there would be YouTube “Why would she wear that?” videos if anyone wore a traditional wedding gown to someone else’s wedding.

I think I’d have genuinely considered calling the wedding off rather than marry into a family with a mother-in-law as nuts as that. Who does that? Who even thinks of doing that?\

Luckily my mother-in-law is sane, and wouldn’t have dreamt of coming to our wedding in her wedding dress. The symbolism alone would be too weird!

Weddings cost a fortune, so it makes a lot of sense to have an alternate on hand in case the bride gets cold feet.

What do you bring as a gift to such a wedding, Hers & Hers towels?

Someone has to be the first in order for a new tradition to happen. At one point it was considered gauche to wear “dinner jackets” (tuxedos) instead of tails to a formal ceremony like a wedding. Someone started doing it. Maybe that someone was mentally off, so maybe we need crazy people to push on our traditions.

For security purposes, I can see the point of having a decoy bride.

By the way, I read that column and the advice was along the lines of have the groom make it clear to his mother that this is a weird thing to do.

But Prudence summed up her advice the way she always does web it comes to wedding guests—if a guest does something weird at your wedding, just enjoy it as something to be remembered.

In my own view, people need to fucking relax about weddings and not treat them like performances in which every participant’s actions are scripted and controlled.

I’ve never seen a guest show up in a wedding dress, but I did once attend a wedding where the mother of the groom was dressed in such a way that it was obvious she was trying to show up the bride. The bride was wearing a pretty wedding dress and her new MIL was wearing this midnight blue gown covered in swarovski crystals, something I would have expected to see underneath a Miss America sash. She looked like she belonged on the red carpet at the Met gala, not at her son’s wedding.

It’s the bride’s day.
How incredibly rude and tacky to try to show her up or compete with her.
I would think any woman who tried to do so is a bitch and deserves to be scorned for it.

[ul][li]NO ONE EXCEPT THE BRIDE may wear white to a wedding[/li][li]The groom and the groomsmen may wear black as long as they are in formal wear (tuxedos)[/li][li]NO ONE ELSE may wear black[/li][li]No one may try to out-shine the bride. That is tacky to the point of taking the offender aside and correcting them in a shocked whisper.[/ul]Thus spake Shodan’s mother, Grand High Arbiter of All That Is Done And Not Done. [/li]
I tremble to think of how she would react to the sight of someone other than the bride wearing a wedding dress to a wedding.


Or we could react graciously and understand that it reflects badly on them, not on us. But this is hard to do in our twenties.

Now I wouldn’t care who wore what. Just come and celebrate!

There’s no way that this is true. Sounds to me like the letter-writer got wooshed by an overly-playful MIL.

[quote=“Shodan, post:12, topic:720414”]

[li]NO ONE ELSE may wear black[/ul][/li][/QUOTE]

I agreed with everything else, but dafuq? No black jackets or black ties among the guests? No black dresses for an evening wedding? This is a bizarre rule to me.

Afternoon wedding, yes, black dresses are not correct, but as a blanket rule this is way outside my experience.

Anyway, my mother decided to wear a white outfit to my wedding. White shirt, white pants, white shoes. She did have a blue jacket on, but still. I had no idea she was planning on doing that. Neither did the rest of the family. It’s a great credit to my wife that she didn’t kill my mother on the spot, because boy was the bride livid.

Of course, we no longer talk to my crazy, narcissitic mother at all, but that was after a long string of second chances she probably didn’t deserve. Wearing white to the wedding was just another in a long list of antagonistic things she did.

This Isn’t Done.

Shodan’s Mother

People really get wound up about other people’s clothing, and sometimes it’s warranted. At my daughter’s wedding, her husband’s half-brother showed up in shorts, a polo shirt, and boat shoes. He was very attractive in the family portrait next to the gowns and formal wear. At my aunt’s funeral, her son-in-law came in pilly polyester pants, a baggy polo shirt, and very, very worn out hushpuppies - definitely tacky.

I’d never show up at a fancy event in torn jeans and a misshapen t-shirt, but having to get a fancy dress and all the accessories has me leaning toward declining such invites. Unfortunately, I can’t blow off my niece’s wedding. And since I don’t have a wedding gown of my own, I need to find something nicer than my usual slacks and sorta nice tops. Just the thought of wearing a dress makes me cringe. Apparently I lost out in the girly-gene department.

Oh, and at my daughter’s afternoon wedding, all of her attendants wore black dresses - each had a sash of a different color. They looked very nice.

No. This is the kind of meme that fuels misogynistic tropes like “Bridezillas.” It is not the bride’s day. It’s everybody’s day to celebrate the union of the couple.

It is a celebration of a new link in the chain of the entire social group. It is a celebration of family and society that is represented by this new couple.

It is not a coronation or an ascension in which the bride is worshipped and revered as a individual apart from her social group.

Whatever else one might say about appropriate etiquette at a wedding, we need to dump this toxic meme that it’s the “bride’s day.”

Rather odd for a groom to marry both his bride and his mother at the same time.

Another vote for it being done all the time and it being just fine.