Edit my Post.

[Lobsang]

I had this idea while typing out my previous thread (the one about earphones)…
I often wonder how what I am writing should be properly structured as if it were to appear in a book or article. I did badly at English at school so I never aquired any formal skills for grammar and sentence structure.
So this is the idea… Paste into this thread a post of yours you think could have been structured better so that the more literacy-skilled dopers can have some fun reconstructing the structure of it (without altering the wording too much)

By posting something for someone else to edit you are opening yourself up to criticism so please don’t participate if you don’t want to be criticised.

Please keep it civil.

And please close this thread Mods if it violates any rules or code of conduct.

I submit this… (though any post of mine is open to some red-ink marking!)

@me

• Expensive In-ear-phones.
  Last time I went from cheap to good earphones there was an immediate wow factor - “WOW this sounds amazing!”. Inevitably a good pair of earphones wears out, and one has to make do with a ‘kit’ pair (a pair you get with an MP3 player or other sound related device). My last good set of earphones were creative brand pair which cost about 45 quid. Once these died I reverted to the same set I used after my last good ones died. These backup earphones produce good sound but no bass and a little tinny. And you can hear…everything… that goes on around you. A bit of wind and immediately ‘Two Tribes’ is a whisper. So I had to buy some more good earphones.
  In hindsight I don’t know why I didn’t go with the same pair of creatives… I guess I wanted something even better and more to the point different. So I amazon.uk’d and found that these were the best all-round based on reviews.

I got them yesterday and tried them out.

Bit of an anti-climax. I was hoping to be wowed again, but not so. Musically I notice the extra bass but the overall sound experience isn’t much different (that isn’t to say it’s bad… my backup pair are good) They cancel out noise quite well (requiring an aaa battery) but I’m not wowed.

I am yet to test them in a noisy environment though. And, well they satisfy most of the requirements I have of headphones (good enough sound, stay in the ear, don’t allow me to hear a flea fart like a cheap pair) But for around fifty quid I want them to make a party happen in my brain.
I am sometimes not easilly pleased.