Eeeeeeek!! Dave's in the hospital!!

Just saw on the news about David Letterman having to get QUINTIPLE bypass surgery! Apparently he was joking with Regis about getting an angiogram after the show and the doctor put him in the hospital on the spot!

Best wishes for a speedy recovery, Dave!

David “Mr. High Cholesterol” Letterman was joking with Regis during last night’s show, talking about his scheduled angioplasty for today (Friday). During his angioplasty, doctors found that one of his arteries was severely blocked which required immediate emergency surgery to unblock it. AP says he’s resting comfortably.

“My hovercraft is full of eels.”

Well, I can’t believe I’m telling this story (which I oddly enough eluded to last night in chat), but here goes:

I spent most of High School and college having a major crush on David Letterman (much to the chagrin of my parents, obviously!) and while one night wondering what to get him for his birthday, he mentioned “frying up some hotdogs in a skillet.” Being shocked, appalled, and disgusted, I decided what this man needed was a tabletop grill. I chose, bought, lovingly wrapped and mailed it, and returned home a few days later with a notice from the post office to pick up a package. Imagine my horror when the clerk comes from the back room with the very same package with “REFUSED” scrawled on it in giant letters. Well, after I got home and had a nervous breakdown, I sat down at my typewriter and pounded out a furious missive ("A lot of time and effort went into that and you didn’t even open it! etc, etc.) and on the envelope printed “Personal correspondance, not for comedic purposes.” I didn’t expect anything to come of it but I felt better; well, damned if two days later the phone wakes me up at 8 in the morning and it’s some audibly shaken and flustered person calling from Dave’s office. Apparently Dave comes in and reads his mail first thing in the morning and the entire staff was treated to a tirade as the result of my letter. She apologised profusely and explained that at one point Dave was receiving so many unsolicited corporate gifts that they were all being refused but personal gifts were supposed to always be put through. She then went on to say that Dave would never refuse a gift from a fan and he was especially upset because I was from Indiana, (That sorta cracked me up,) and to make it up to me they’d like to give me free tickets to the show whenever I’d like and also send me some items for my trouble. This was back in the NBC days when there was like a 3 year waiting list to get tickets to the show! The next day I’m awakened AGAIN at the crack of dawn by a FedEx guy bearing a massive package from Laurie Diamond (Dave’s assistant! – I still have the FedEx slip in a frame, lol.) Now, when they told me they were sending me some “things” I assumed they meant maybe a bumpersticker or keychain or magnet or something, so you can imagine my shock to open the box and find a LateNight with David Letterman baseball cap, T-shirt, and what has to be the highest quality sweatshirt I’ve ever seen. I know what you’re saying…“could this amazing story get any better?” Get this! I re-wrapped the grill and mailed it back (overnight express) and the next night Dave does this lame skit where he calls up his house and checks his answering machine messages – there’s one from Phil Donahue asking if he can…BORROW THE GRILL!

The moral of this story is: Don’t ever say anything bad to me about David Letterman or I’ll come over personally and KICK YOUR ASS!

Oh yeah…Get well soon Dave! (I TOLD you to use the grill, though! Sheesh!)

P.S. If you’re wondering which show I saw, it was with Martin Short, Ritchie Sambora, and Art Buchwald. You can see my knees when he makes fun of some sailors in the row in front of me, haha!

“I’m the luckiest man in the world, now that Lou Gehrig is dead.” Homer Simpson