eHarmony.com tells me I'm undatable ... huh?

About a year ago, I thought I’d check out eHarmony’s claims of accurate computer matchmaking. I visit the site, register, and take a 30 to 45 minute miltiple-choice personality test.

The result? I was considered unsuitable for eHarmony membership. I forgot the exact message, but it implied that I was essentially undateable.

I’m not a wife-beater, axe murderer, cheater, player, or anything like that. I’m trying to figure out what sort of responses or personality traits would make me undateable, at least according to eHarmony. The only things I came up with are …

  1. My mild ADD/primary inattentive, and
  2. Being politically liberal

Number 2 emerged as a possible thought, only after I started hearing commercials for the service recently on just about every AM talk radio show. Not on FM stations, not as sponsors of All Things Considered on NPR, but rather Rush Limbaugh and the like.

So …is eHarmony rejecting me because of the ADD, or because I’m liberal? Anyone else get the shaft y eHarmony? Are you a leftie, too?

Do you mean that you didn’t get any matches? I’ve checked them out recently and here’s what usually happens:

You spend about an hour completing their personality profile only to find out afterwards that they have found no matches for you. (I’ve had 4 people I know do this all with the same results). To the best of my knowledge they don’t ask any questions about physical/mental health or political ideology that would enable them to rule you out based on those things.

It’s a marketing gimmick. They tell everyone off the bat that they don’t have any matches, and then slowly over the next few weeks, etc. they start feeding matches to you one at a time, in order to get you to cave in and pay for the service.

No, I got a downright “sorry, but you’re unacceptable” message.

I found a current copy of the eHarmony rejection text.

Haha that’s what I got from them, as well. They do say that 20 percent of the people simply don’t make it, so it could be just how their system works.

I’m sure you weren’t rejected because you’re politically liberal or even have ADD (having ADD certainly doesn’t prevent someone from being in a relationship). From what I can tell, their system is pretty complex and they probably want to make their numbers look good. I mean, if they reject anyone they think that for whatever reason won’t be easy for them to match, they make their percentage of “successes” seem higher. So, to make a long story short, getting rejected doesn’t mean that you’re completely undatable.

Whadda you know, I’m rejected too…

Take the test and answer the questions with a non-liberal slant and see if you are rejected in the same manner. If it is because you are liberal is this a type of genocide? Can you turn them over to the EEOC?

Hmm…
it didn’t actually say that I was undateable. It just only managed to find one match for me in 6 months. (And anyone who thought for a second that I would be a match for that guy (who seemed like a perfectly nice guy - but completely and totally wrong for me.) is insane.)

So, while I guess I’m not technically undateable, I’m as-good-as undateable. Same difference.

Apparently I’m undateable too.

Ha ha you tools, I already have a boyfriend!

I’m not undateable according to them, but there’s no way I’m giving them money…

It certainly isn’t political liberalism that sunk you, elmwood. I’ve been on eharmony twice, may go on it again (hmmm…if I’ve been on it three times and still had no “success,” what kind of fool would that make me, though?), consider myself relatively left-leaning, and was never considered “undateable” by them. One of the women I corresponded with from the site, though never dated, was a real bolshie.

I wish I could say why you or gubernator or Melandry was rejected, but I long ago gave up trying to figure out eharmony. I’ve often called it the “Date Nazi” site, in reference to Seinfeld’s “Soup Nazi” character. It’s a good site, but only if you play by their rules, most of which are unwritten. It is seemingly capricious, arbitrary, and downright unfair. There is no way in hell, for example, that I should have received two dozen matches in two months while amarinth got one in six months. I am not that big a prize, and I’m sure amarinth is–a big prize, I mean.

On the other hand, if I had to go back to a dating site, I’d still go back to eharmony. First off, the male-female ratio is a lot closer to 1:1 than any other site. Second, having fewer matches than the other sites meant that, at the very least, you were more likely to get a reply from someone. Lastly, while I didn’t meet my “soulmate” (argh! I hate that term!), I did go on several lovely dates, and none of the women I met were really unsuitable.

If you truly want to try eharmony again, elmwood, go back and answer the questions in a “sensitive man” guise. That’s the only thing I can think of that’s gotten me any matches, not necessarily that I’ve been trying to do it.

I did the test and instantly had one match that wanted to get in touch with me. I didn’t of course, because I’m already spoken for - I just wanted to do the personality test. The thing I hate about e.harmony is they still send me emails telling me about all these guys that are “so perfectly matched”…

It’s all just a hoax of some sort I reckon.

Aha! So you’re the person who never returned my e-mails! :smiley:

Let’s see if I’d be dateable if I were single …

begins test

10 minutes later, still taking test

Sheesh this thing is long …

Finally done.

It doesn’t say that I’m not dateable but it does say there are no matches. Just as well, considering I’m married :wink:

I do want to note that their personality profile is dead on. People oughta sign up just to take it, it’s one of the best personality tests I’ve seen online.

Huh. Well, I did the test. I have a match. I’m about as liberal as they come.

I assume it was something else - perhaps when you told them you keep fresh frozen human heads in your freezer?

I dunno.

I took their test. No matches right away, but a few days later they found one . . .

in Abilene, Texas.

I’m still being spammed by eHarmony every week, offering 3 months for $69.95. I don’t live within commuting distance of Abilene and my name is not Rockefeller, so I pass. :frowning:

OMG Duke… So YOU’RE the one?!! swoon, swoon I just like playing hard-to-get!!! LOL

Sorry for not returning your emails, I guess I was kindah busy posting in forums about the negative side of e.Harmony!! :smiley: :wink:

elmwood, who could think of you as undatable? Obviously someone who has never met you.

There are many, many qualities that I know of that would make you datable. You’re attractive, you’re funny, you’re smart. Good gravy, I’d say them bastards at eHarmony.com just don’t know a good thing when they see it.

I don’t think it’s about political liberalism – I’m extremely liberal, and don’t feel like they asked any questions about that one way of the other. I agree with SnoopyFan that their personality analysis is pretty dead-on.

I’ve gotten a slew of matches from them – 10 each the first couple of weeks, and then more a couple at a time since, presumably as new guys sign up. Actually met one guy who I liked quite a bit, but it wasn’t mutual – another couple who it petered out at the email phase. I’m in the middle of something with someone from match.com right now that I’ve got my fingers crossed on, so I’m not currently pursuing the last couple of matches.

When I went there this morning to check out the latest match, I noted one of the recent matches had put me on hold – “the age difference is too great.” He’s 46, I’m 48 – wtf?

Damn, I knew there was something else I wanted to say –

Results may vary based on geography (duh!). I live in the fifth-largest city in the country, so obviously there are going to be a lot more possibles within 25 or 30 miles of me than there would be for someone living out in Iowa somewhere.