Ejaculate turned... cementlike? TMI

Factual Questions
1

Definitely TMI, but I really want to get to the bottom of this and I know this board is the place to do it.

So I was having a romp with the fella in the shower today. Specifically, I was kneeling and he was not. Given that it was a shower, we decided that in this case, nice girls did not in fact swallow.

So he does his thing. And I go to rinse off my chest area and… it doesn’t work. The rinsing, I mean. Either as a result of contact with the water, or just straight from the source, the goop turned into… a cementlike substance. Gluish. Epoxy of some kind.

It would spread around with the water but would not rinse off, instead a thin layer clung to my skin. I had to scrub with soap vigorously, and that didn’t even fully do the job. scratches neck

I’ve done this sort of thing before. I’ve never ended up wondering if I’d been Punked, with my lover’s testicles spiked with super glue. He even had to use soap to clean off his end of the bargain.

Somebody please tell me what the hell happened. And now, for your entertainment, the commentary:

Him: “Awww, look at your face, so confused and disturbed… can I press you up against the wall to see what happens?”

Him: “Well, look on the bright side… if you’d swallowed, I’d have looked really funny trying to board the plane tomorrow.”

Him: “You’re never letting me do that again, are you?”
Me: “Well, okay… but next time, we’ll keep some kind of solvent handy.”

2

I’m suprised he didn’t know about this fact already. Many a man knows that semen +water doesn’t mix. I think it’s because, while some of the semen is water, other parts are things like protein, cholesterol, cell, etc… that don’t wash away with water very easily. So the water gets rid of some of the parts of the semen and leaves behind what doesn’t easily dissolve in water.

Plus, protein is a very good glue, so without a medium for it to be suspended in, it starts sticking to things.

3

Is there anything that could’ve made it more dramatic this time? Like I said, I’ve done this before… I would’ve remembered this. I know that semen can be a bit tricky to wash away, but this was much worse.

4

I am have extensive experience with this as I am a male over the age of 14. I have noticed that if the ejaculate is exposed to water immediately upon release a good portion will wash away while the glue you mentioned remains. The glue is damn near impossible to get out of hair. However, if you give it a minute or two before exposure to water the whole mixture will easily wash away. My guess is that as there are multiple components that only come together (ha) immediately before release, they have not yet fully mixed together. You need to give them a little time to do so. Consider it ant-epoxy. By themselves they make glue, if you give them time to set they make water soluble slime.

5

The less time before you try and wash it, the more glue like it is… that and different guys make different glue.

6

You know, I’ve been having a devil of a time finding my hot glue gun to make some Christmas decorations. I think you all have given me an idea that would solve a couple problems at once!
Cool!

7

Note to self: Admire Inigo’s Christmas decorations by eye only, not by touching.

8

He’s an alien. Once his legions have glued down the women of earth, world domination follows. :wink:

9

Your ideas intrigue me. Do you perhaps have a newsletter I could subscribe to?

Only if it’s stapled together, though.

10

But, seriously…

I don’t know what factors contribute to it, but I will tell you that a man can have varying levels of the “glue” component in his ejaculate at different times. It is not sperm, as I’m sure you know, but the medium carrying it which contains this substance. I have never really bothered to try to determine what makes it vary, but now I am curious.

11

Question-should this thread be made a sticky?

d&r

12

I learned last year that, upon first being released into the vagina, semen becomes extremely viscous, in order to protect the sperm from the hostile environment and to prevent it from getting pulled out when the penis is removed. After a certain amount of time (can’t remember how long, but probably a couple minutes) the semen softens and the swimmers start swimming.

I’m not sure if this viscosity is a result of contact with the highly acidic vaginal juices (semen is basic), or some property of the semen itself as suggested above. Perhaps the water was sufficiently acidic to make it react like that, as well as having the water-soluble part washed out

13

Or maybe your guy friend is so much of a man he can ejaculate pure Quikrete.

Although, to be honest, JB Weld would be more impressive.

14

I, for one, welcome our…

No. No, I don’t, actually. :eek:

15

Hot or warm water causes semen to congeal. It washes off with cold water.

16

Shower poached semen?

</returns to hiding>

=Butler

17

Well, for one thing, this problem could be avoided if he would deposit it into, um, the proper depository. :smiley:

OTOH, if it really is cement-like, this might cause a bigger problem. :eek:

18

Is it just me, or am I the only one appreciating that this piece of educational advice came from Giant_Spongess?

19

This:

…is my favorite part here. Nice turn of the phrase.

20

New slogan:

“Melts in your mouth, not on your chest”