Electrons are extremely round

Electrons are extremely round … and some physicists are not pleased about it.

Electrons just refuse to do what they’re told.

Electrons are* not* round. They’re flat and carried on the backs of tiny turtles.

These people are just part of the round electron conspiracy.

Scientists should not reward their electrons with more attention when they behave badly.

Just hit em with a hammer. Make em whatever shape you want.

Also, I can give them some recommendations on setting up experiments where everything goes pear-shaped.

Boil 'em, mash 'em, stick 'em in a stew…

Who would be the unhappy scientists then? Proponents of the string theory?

Why y’all so negative about electrons?

There’s no such thing as electrons.

It’s that the current Standard Model in physics predicts everything we know so far perfectly, and yet leaves several important questions unanswered. So physicists are in the strange position of hoping to prove the best theory we’ve got so far wrong. An immeasurably small electron dipole moment means we’re currently stuck with the same old.

So…electrons are just relatively large balls of tiny strings. Which only means God is a cat. No surprises there.

Nonsense. Just last night I heard one in the woods behind my house. It made a fearful racket.

We never had these kinds of problems with phlogiston. I don’t know why we switched.