Elementary Limericks

I apologize for nothing, because I’ve lost neutrality; in fact, I’m really quite charged:

Here's a pair of nitrogen
Their bond is hella tightrogen
  But in TNT
  Take care, or you'll be
Launched by them into flightrogen!

Carbon's a substance quite protean
It's in the air, the land, and your boatean
  It even forms rings
  (Which are biochem things
That undergrads learn quite by rotean).

Helium's really quite dull:
For you see, its shells are all full!
  With electrons it's sated:
  One pair, with spins mated.
Too bad it escapes our gravity's pull.

Hydrogen has little heft;
of neutrons, usually bereft.
  But what it has will serve
  the charge to conserve
so soon, it'll be all that is left!

Technetium's really quite rara.
In nature, there's not hide nor hara.
  So look in the wards
  with lead-lined doords
You might find you some thera.

Magnesium, helium, lithium,
Potassium, calcium, sodium,
Neon, argon,
Xenon, krypton,
Beryllium, barium, cesium.

George Eliots Old Grandfather Rode a Pig home yesterday

First letter of each word spells …Geography

There were a many others like that going around my elementary school in 4-5-6 grade times, but that is the only one i remember.

At what point did this go off topic? Or did it?

Sulfur is used in fine matches,
Acids and fertilizer batches.
It also is known
By some as brimstone,
Thus the gates of the place that is Scratch’s.

The alkali metal called Sodium
Finds its native condition an odium;
And you hadn’t oughta
Drop some into water
Or you’ll find that it’s made of explodium!

When writing a rhyme about boron
The poet may look like a moron,
For there’s hardly a mint
(Save for boracic lint)
Of familiar material to draw on.

*A mathematician confided
That the Mobius band is one-sided.
And he said, “you’ll get quite a laugh
if you cut one in half
For it stays in one piece when divided!”

A mathematician named Klein
Thought the Mobius band divine.
He said, “If you glue
The edges of two,
You’ll get a weird bottle like mine.”

An eager young woman named Bright
had a speed much faster than light.
She set out one day,
In a relative way,
And returned the previous night.*

The mercury at room temperature flowed
From the vessel where it was stowed
When the valve came undone
They all had to run
Or a heavy wave they’d have rode

Sir Obliti, eager to experiment,
Decided to create a new element.
Although he was clever,
His trials took forever;
In the end, he forgot just where the hell he was going with all this.

A ribbon - quite thin - of magnesium
Burns at less than five hundred degreesium*
And if you want a light
That is brilliant and white
You will find it entirely pleasium.

*Celsius, that is.

Neodymium’s really quite rare,
And you might think “Well, who’d even care?”
But a skillful refiner
(Based, usually, in China)
Can make stupid-strong magnets - so there!