Was Mary your only ho, that you pimped out to your trick disciples, and did Judas take over your operation?
jesse,wp
My question to Jesus would be:
Why?
It might take a while to answer.
I talk straight to God, I don’t need any pope as a middle man. Jesus died on the cross for me, he doesnt need an agent.
Why is it that I am the only one in this world that is not a jerk?
Stupid a**holes…
Thanks, that was helpful.
In all vulgarity, the question would have to be…
What the fuck,dude?
Who would win, the Enterprise or a Star Destroyer?
Foregone conclusion, HubZilla. Photon torpedoes travel faster-than-light, and turbolasers don’t. Enterprise backs up at warp 1.1 and lobs photorps at the Star Destroyer until it explodes. Even if the Star Destroyer does a microjump to put itself (or its turbolaser bolts) directly in Enterprise’s path, it has to anticipate where Enterprise will be a second or two later, and Enterprise can foil those calculations simply by making small, rapid, erratic changes to its course while it’s backing up.
That is, if Picard doesn’t surrender immediately.
Where the hell are my car keys?
Oh, crap, I shouldn’t have said “hell” in front of Jesus.
Oh eff, I shouldn’t have said “crap…!”
::continue ad infinity::
“Hey, Jesus, man, how’s it goin’?”
Pretty good.
poof!
“So anyway, I was wondering why… hey… where’d he go? Hey! I haven’t asked a question ye… oh.”
Here is my question:
Looking over the past 2000 years of history since you walked the earth and considering the death and torture of millions of people and the rivers of blood shed in your name, do you now wish you could have kept your mouth shut? Knowing what the results are, would you have done things differently?
“Very funny… now seriously…stop fucking with the diamondbacks and let us move on with the series.”
You could just ask “Which part of…”
If Jesus said all that stuff about the Bible being written by ordinary men and blahblah, while most people would say “duh”, I think quite a few (and in fact it would be those who need it the most), would be taken aback at the least, and it would certainly change things dramatically.
My favorite question is by far scotth’s…bravo.
I think my question would be something along the lines of “Could you clear up that whole ‘thou shalt not kill’ thing?.. apparently it’s still not getting through”
Come on, from my selfish point of view, there’s only one possible question.
“Presuming there is life after death, how can I get into the good section?”
He already answered that:
Now that is funny.
Since I can’t ask for winning lottery numbers, I’m going with “What’s the third word ending in ‘gry’?”
In order for people to believe anything in that link, they would have to believe what the RCC teaches. We should just ask God our questions, if we do not receive an answer, it was not for us to know.
How detailed is His answer going to be? Because he could answer questions like this:
Q: Why do we exist?
A: Why not?
Q: Jesus, when will the world end?
A: Soon enough.
Q: Jesus, why all the suffering in the world?
A: ummm…
And providing he will answer the question in complete detail, including diagrams then here is my question:
Jesus, how do you extract zero-point energy in large workable quantities?
A different type of question…
So jesus, how do the laws of Quantum mechanics hold true without the world dissolving into a heap of radiation?
Or alternatively…
Hey dude, where did all the antimatter go?
Beelzebubba wrote:
Yes, but a belief that a guy called Jesus existed about 2,000 years ago is not necessarily inconsistent with atheism. There seems to me (and i’m an atheist, too), based on the little i’ve read about the subject, to be a reasonable amount of evidence to indicate that there was a guy called Jesus, and that he did enough while alive to impress a few people.
But, even if he was around, i don’t believe that he was the son of a deity, and no answer he could give to any question i might ask would prove that to me. As someone suggested before, maybe the OP should have been directed only at believers.
But, given that i believe it possible that some guy called Jesus did exist, even if he was just a man, then maybe i should ask him a question. I suppose i’d ask:
Hey, given that you were born and grew up in a really hot and sunny place, in an area populated by Arabs, Egyptians and other dark-skinned peoples, were you really as lily-white as all the pictures and TV shows make you out to be?
Hey hey, Big J., why yo fuckin’ wit us, bro?