Embarrassing Classroom situation: When the COMBO backfires horribly! (Possible TMI)

In My Humble Opinion
1

I truly feel for this kid. He expressed perfect form, it almost worked, his execution was a mere hundreth of a second off. For those who need clarification of what the COMBO to which I refer is, it is when you try and mask your brief flatulance with a quick, loud cough. In theory it should work everytime. However, people seem to forget the ever truthful caveat. The odor.
I was in the middle of explaining the results of our Skinner Box tests with my class, going over the standard deviations when I turned from the black board and went to call on a student with a question.

"*Yes, Mr. Sisk - the mean results of the first 30 trials with Mozart and Bach, without reward, yielded… *-- COUGH,PPFFTT,COUGH –

3 second pause, as I glance in the perpetrators direction…I think the woman next to him was privy to it…by in large the class was oblivious.

Then of course the odor hit some people and the poor guy turned red.

I finished the answer to the question and then felt the only thing I could do was end the class a few minutes early and try and disperse the class so as not to entice anymore embarrassment for the young man.

Now throughout my tenure I have had similar things happen, but this semester, this is by far the most pronounced.

So for all those COMBO advocates out there, I implore you, remember the caveat and don’t attempt a true COMBO when stationary. Always wait until yuo are on the move. And for those in Cubes, be aware, anyone can come into your cube at any time, even after a seeming perfect execution.

Anyone else catch a COMBO advocate lately? I know the discussion is decidedly vulgar, but hey, I’m bored and office hours will never end this afternoon :slight_smile:

2

Hi, professor! I need to add your class! Will you sign my form!

No, wait, I need to drop your class!

No, wait, I want to take it Pass/Fail. Do you think I can get an A, or should I take it Pass/Fail?

Is there a book for this class? The syllabus? Uh, I lost it. Is the book on reserve in the library or do I have to buy it?

Are you teaching Principles of Biology? What? Oh. What department is this?

[Just doing my part to make your office hours as rich and delightful as mine.]

3

I have found that the perfect COMBO is the Drive-by, wherein the Perpetrator drops the offensive odor at a point in front of or behind the Unsuspecting Dupe, then is out of sight before the aroma meets the nostril. :smiley:

4

Drive-by’s are obnoxious in any form.

5

You took this class last semester Mr. Buckley.

No you cannot take it pass fail…you know this, you’re an upper classman this year act like it!

The syllabus can be found online, I do not keep copies in the office. And yes, there is one text book and a plethora support materials that can be shared within your group.

This is intro to stats…not methods…methods is in Blaustein this semester with Prof. Egglan.

:slight_smile:

6

Hmm. Reminds me of the Nordstrom’s Incident.

At the local mall, I was ascending the escalator in the department store. At the bottom, I had chivalrously let everyone else approaching the escalator board first, so that no one was behind me.

Good thing, too. Because I suddenly experienced the need to vent an evil vapor. And so I did, at about 2/3rds of the way up the escalator. Reaching the top, I hustled for the exit to the mall.

I was only a few paces from the door when I heard behind me the sounds of retching and gagging, and one woman exclaim “Oh, Sweet Jesus!” I turned and saw a traffic jam of four or five people at the top of the escalator, helpless and overcome by the stinking cloud. One glared in my direction.

All I could do was smirk and quicken my pace towards the doors.

7

OK, who gave the hamsters a time machine?

Mods, can you fix the order of posts? Mine shouldn’t appear to be the OP.