Now, being a lady, I don’t officially do anything as base and crude as “fart,” but if you do, here is a harmless little prank I recently learned from my 15-year-old son. (This age of boy, as everyone well knows, is a perfect wellspring of this sort of information.)
What you do is, let slip a “SBD” in a car or other crowded place and immediately ask aloud: “Hey! Do you smell popcorn?!”
::everyone inhales deeply::
Profit!
We’ve been laughing about this for days. Any more?
SBD is “silent but deadly,” for those of you who didn’t attend middle school.
Oh I don’t know. I once let one off sitting at my desk at work, a long time ago, and the poor woman behind me said “What is that? It smells like death! Oh…” when she realized what it was, and I guess she didn’t want to embarrass me further.
I didn’t respond, but I got enough of a whiff to know that she was right, it was if not deadly at least foul enough to simulate death. I wish I could remember what I ate that produced that result!
Roddy
I was helping my son with his science project on the topic of Jupiter. some of the storms are caused by hydrogen sulphide and methane. “Oooh, I said that’s what farts are made of.”
Well, now imagine a nine year old boy with a project on “a gas giant” with “storms that smell like farts!” Such enthusiasm for a project has never been seen before!
For the past week the “Hey can you smell Jupiter!” is our new “Someone farted” euphemism.
Dutch Oven - taught to me by a delightful ex-boyfriend. Fling the covers over your partner’s head while letting one go. Nudge your bedmate to make sure they are awake. Much laughter ensues.
A coworker really got me. He said, “hey, I think there is a mouse or rat or something under my desk! It is just sitting there, staring at me. It might be sick or dying. Toofs, get here quick, you gotta see this!” He slides his chair back and points to the deep, dark back corner on the right and tells me to poke my head in there and I will see it staring out at us. Dutifully I take a knee and put my head under the desk looking for this sick or dying mouse. “I don’t see a…sniff…sniiifffffff…”
drewtwo99, I had to double-check and make sure it wasn’t you who started this thread.
There’s apparently a candyyou can buy that will make you fart. I’m tempted to buy some and use it on myself, to see what happens. It could potentially facilitate some of the pranks mentioned in this thread.
