Many years ago in one of his books, some guy named “Cecil Adams” claimed to have a brother whose “toots could fell mighty Sequoias”; that’s deadly in my book.
(The quote is from memory, so no nitpicking.)
Given the ingredients: Glucose, Licorice Powder, Root Bear Flavoring, Horehound.
I can’t see how these woudl cause excess flatulence. The Reviews would seem to agree that it’s ineffectual.
Too bad, I was going to order some fro April 1st. 
What you want is inulin. It’s the soluble fiber in things like drink mixes with fiber(?). Anyway, it’s a complex polysaccharide that some intestinal bacteria pig out on and poop out lots of CO2 with.
I’ve been trying to figure out for a long time how to devise an appetizing bean, cabbage and cheese casserole for work pot-lucks, and lace it with inulin for sure-fire atomic flatulence.
I was expecting to see a raffinose concentrate or something.
S.O.S. = Scatter or suffocate
At a former job, one of the things we built was a welding robot inside a large inert gas enclosure. I was working in there and had to fart. So I started to climb out, but G was trying to climb in. So he backed off so I could get out, but not soon enough, and I really ripped one…then climbed out. I started laughing to myself so much that I was unable to warn G who was in a hurry and squeezing in as I was coming out. J was starting toward the enclosure but I was able to stop him, gasping a warning that I had just farted in there through tears of laughter. J looked toward the enclosure just as G screamed OH MY GOD! J and I were literally rolling in laughter as G came gasping out of the enclosure, his eyes also watering but not from laughter.
In subsequent jobs, we have had safety training sessions on confined spaces, but this particular hazard has never been mentioned.
I always thought what “ladies” did was called “fluffing”.
Some ladies do… but it doesn’t mean what you think.
(go google ‘fluffer’ for more than you wanted to know)
I really think that for my operetta performance this year, we should’ve had a “no farting in the orchestra pit” rule. Ugh.
I’m not sure if she did it on purpose, but a month or so ago I was in the copy room at work (a small room with a large copier/printer) waiting while a co-worker (female, 20s) was making some copies. She finished and as she walked out I smelled a powerful leftover. A minute later, the air still foul, another co-worker walked in and of course, assumed I was the perpetrator. I didn’t even bother to try and shift the blame. I just mentally shook my fist at my adversary.
A couple of years ago, my husband and I went to The Stinking Rose with some friends, and I ordered the 40-Clove Garlic Chicken. It was marvelous, but… the next morning? Oh. My. God. I honestly was not fit company to be around. The car windows stayed rolled down and I was encouraged to walk downwind as we toured the city.
The horribly funny bit - that next day was the 2010 San Bruno gasline explosion, and we were staying just the next town over. My husband SO wanted to post something along the lines of the explosion being my fault due to the previous night’s dinner - but good taste won out… (til now)
Can this be why those impeccably-dressed and well-mannered vampires despise garlic?
Reminds me of a friend’s wife. She was in a business meeting with two male associates. She farted silently, and then could see the two men eyeballing each other, each thinking the other had done it - neither suspecting my friend’s wife was the actual culprit.
Another fart prank:
One friend was helping another friend blow cellulose insulation into his attic. Friend A was in the attic, manning the distribution hose; friend B was outside, feeding cellulose insulation into the machine that shreds it and blows it into the hose. Friend A farted into the machine, and the machine soon delivered the fart to friend B in the attic. Friend B could be heard cursing outloud up in the attic.
When I was 17 and a camp councilor, I was hanging out at the camp HQ after hours. We were BSing when suddenly the most straight-laced looking guy in the room yelled, “Gimme a lighter!” He got it, leaned back in his chair and lit his fart. It was a LOUD fart and it made an 8-inch or so long flame. I had never even heard of this phenomenon and having it demonstrated without warning in front of me left me doubled over with laughter. My god, it was impressive.
Don’t mess with a homebrewer.
There are a lot of funny things relating to farts. Most of those things involve the “performer” inflicting suffering upon the innocent. But for me, the most hilarious moment involving flatulence is, by far, the rare but oh so treasured moment when the “performer” thinks they are about to deliver another “classic”.
Then the horrible truth is realized. That weren’t no air biscuit. The raised eyebrows are the first indication. Followed immediately by a puckered, fish – like mouth. Then a frown, and furtive glances to assess how many are onto the gaffe. It doesn’t matter, though. Once the Duck Walk of Shame™ has commenced, no one within earshot of the howling masses will have any doubt as to what has transpired. Especially anyone familiar with the “performer”.
Well that is perfectly horrible, dexter!
This thread is a blast
If you’re an evil bastard, after you lock the windows, it’s climate control time - airflow on ‘recirculate’ & heater on high!