I just never pee.
The OP could just wear some Depends and not use the bathroom .
Quote from “Barney Miller”
Dietrich has just told Harris that Harris’ girlfriend had called while he was out.
Harris: “You told her I was in the bathroom?”
Dietrich: “Well, that’s where you were.”
Harris: “I know! But that’s no reason to go destroying people’s illusions!”
Dietrich: “Oh, I’m sorry…I thought she knew.”
Which immediately reminds me of this.The relevant part is from about 0:35-1:30, but the whole thing is great.
Reminds me of my late uncle. When the family would gather at our house, the men would be in the living room, the women at the dining room table and the kids downstairs.
This uncle would wander downstairs to “check on the kids” and eventually end up using the bathroom.
At some point, people put two and two together and his wife asked why he didn’t just use the upstairs bathroom. It was next to the dining room. He didn’t want to use it with the women so close by. Eyerolls all around. These were all long married women. They didn’t care about noises.
So, I’ve never worried about it myself.
The water in the toilet would have to be pretty high indeed, you can just pee on the side of the bowl and not the water.
Honestly peeing is not a big deal but what sucks is if you have that one toilet available that’s right next to the kitchen and separated by a thin wall and you have to take a ginourmous bowel-shaking shit in the toilet and it just keeps coming, no way to save face after that one.
Can’t beat the classics.
And let ME be the first to say, “Linky?”
She deep, too!
I’m so disappointed with this thread. When I saw the title, I though it would be something like, “Boi-yoy-yoy-yoing! Ah-ooo-ga!”
If you want to limit the noise, and I can well understand why you would, take a wad of toilet tissue and pee into it. Sitting down also helps. The closer you are to the water the less noise you’ll make. Urinating into tissue may get your hand wet, but, believe it or not, urine is sterile. You wash your hands afterwards, anyway, don’t you? Sterile urine on the hands never hurt anyone.
What, you just excrete little pellets of dried uric acid, like mice in the Kalahari? 
Or pretty much anything that lays eggs on land. (In fact, gout in humans is caused by the evolutionarily outdated uric-acid mechanism being accidentally activated.)
On reflection, I’ve decided I don’t really want to know how Elendil’s Heir deals with uric acid disposal. :eek:
Avoid the embarrassing urination noise by eating a bowl of cabbage and beans before you arrive for dinner. Then whenever you excuse yourself to pee, mask the tinkle sounds with loud flatulence and everyone will just think you’re taking a massive dump.
LOL ! Funny !
The OP could date a deaf woman with deaf parents and not have to worry about them hearing it take a piss ! I can’t hear people what people are doing in the bathroom so I never think of this ! LOL !
You are wise, my friend.
Why does the myth that urine is sterile persist?
Why does the myth that it is not sterile (at least when initially voided by a healthy person) persist?