Okay folks, I know I’ve been scarce this summer and there’s a reason. I’m engaged. Reconnected with an old friend over the summer, we’ve fallen in love. Here’s the deal, he’s got Lou Gehrig’s disease. Which is bad enough, and I’m planning to move to Ohio as soon as I can. He bought a house, which wiped out of savings and there’s not enough money left to get the utilities Etc on. The house has been unoccupied for some time is not set up for electric. We set up a GoFundMe online, but it’s not been enough. He’s been in a short-term facility, but will not be able to stay there after a few more days. I am desperate. I don’t know what to do I’ve been racking my brain trying to figure it out. He can’t stay here. We simply do not have the space. He doesn’t have any friends or family that he can stay with either, for reasons Beyond his control. Does anybody have any suggestions?? Help.
It might help the ideas to flow easier if we can clarify a few points. Please correct any of these that are wrong.
- Your fiancé has bought a house in Ohio, which took all his savings and he has virtually no money left.
- The house is currently vacant and has been for some time.
- The utilities are not on in the house, your fiancé cannot afford to have them turned on. So he can’t live there at present.
- The house is not wired for electricity? This is not clear.
- The two of you have set up a GoFundMe appeal (based on his health condition?) but it has not generated much or any money.
- Your fiancé will have to leave his present residence in a few days, and has nowhere to go.
- Your fiancé can’t stay where you are, due to lack of space. Nor does he have friends or family that he can stay with.
- Due to these factors, your fiancé is about to be homeless.
- You are asking for suggestions to help him or you to find a place for him to live in the short term, or to find money to help him pay for such a place.
If the above is all or mostly correct, I have some further questions:
a. How long do you think he would need the emergency housing for?
b. If you were with him in Ohio where the house is, would you be able to help him get the utilities turned on so the house is at least marginally livable?
c. What is the range of dollars he would need to bridge this crisis?
The only suggestion I really have is that, if you check with the moderators first, they might let you advertise your GoFundMe appeal here on the Dope, which might generate some donations.
Is your fiance very attached to the house that he bought? If not, then it might make sense to sell it quickly and use the $ to rent a place. I don’t know what the housing market is like in his area of Ohio, but in a number of areas there are signs around offering to buy houses fast, as is. Of course, a house sale can’t happen immediately and will leave him still looking for a place for weeks, but it could be a longer-term solution.
If he’s got Lou Gehrig’s he should be on SSDI. Surely they have some provisions for emergency rehoming.
Other than that a homeless shelter may be his only option.
ETA call social services, Drive to hospital they have Social workers on staff.
My suggestion is sell the house, get on SSDI.
Essentially, yes, you are correct. The house is wired, but needs some work on the inside, and an electrician to set up a meter outside.
For those suggesting that he sell the house, that would leave him with nothing, the income generated by such a sale would not last long, as the house was all he could afford to begin with. He MAY be able to get enough money to make the house liveable, but it will take some time… and right now he doesn’t have any. I get paid in a week, and will send what I can, but he’ll be out by then, We’ve talked to a number of social workers etc, but they’ve all been worse than useless. Thanks for all the suggestions… keep them coming, and if you are the sort, the prayers, too.
There may be an office in his county or township called the Community Action Agency or some such that offers emergency services to help tide him over until more permanent solutions come around.
The Ohio Council on Aging may have resources.
His township Trustee may also be able to point him in the right direction for emergency relief.
This website seems to have a lot of information along those lines.
I’d much rather have the money such a sale would generate than a house that I can’t live in, or afford to live in for even a single month.
For those who aren’t really familiar …
This is both horrible news, of course, and a game-changer. It feels like … this has to be central to everything you do, and that’s without having been told what stage your fiancé is in.
It also speaks to the value and critical importance of involving social services, either on a community level or through the hospital where he may (?) be receiving care.
You don’t ‘just’ need somebody who knows how to help people struggling financially. You need somebody who knows how to help people with financial and serious, degenerative medical issues.
And they can’t just get you a plan that works today. It has to work for the foreseeable future, as his health likely deteriorates.
I’m both so sorry and … so sincere in wishing you both all the best.
His biggest immediate issue is that he bought a house that he could not afford. If you have zero dollars left over after buying a house and cannot even pay to have the utilities turned on or maintenance performed, you can’t afford the house. His medical issues only complicates things, but one thing for certain with ALS is that it’s not going to get better, and ALL of your future planning will be forced to revolve around that.
If he is set on keeping the house, I’m not sure where you are in Ohio but if you are in the Cleveland area here are some resources:
211 (United Way First Call for Help)
City of Cleveland Home repair and Maintenance Assistance (Home Repair and Maintenance | City of Cleveland Ohio)
The Cuyahoga County Home Repair Loan Program (Cuyahoga County Home Repair Loan Program - CHN Housing Capital)
The Northern Ohio ALS Care Services Program (Local Care Services | The ALS Association)
I’m very sorry for the cruel blow life has dealt the two of you.
It does sound, though, life you are ruling out options, such as selling this house, because you don’t want to do them.
You’re in a very tough position, and it’s probably best to pool your most trusted in-person people, and the social service professionals, and really consider these options. At a time like this, it’s easy to let the house acquire a symbolic meaning that affects your decision-making process. I know it does for me, without the horrible pressures that you’re under.
Dorjan summed it up nicely: your fiancé bought a house he cannot afford. It’s a fixer, and he cannot afford the materials plus his disability will not allow him to do the work itself. There is no reason on earth to throw good money after bad.
Your fiancé probably qualifies for subsidized housing. And the housing must be 100% handicap accessible. This means ramps, wider doorways, plus a bathroom with a raised toilet, with an accessible tub or roll-in shower.
I have a feeling you are unhappy with Social Services, because the very first thing you’ve been told is, “Sell the house.” And until the two of you get a firm grip on reality, you won’t be open to any of the help that Social Services can give you.
Is your fiancé enrolled in your State’s version of Medi-Cal? His medical expenses will be incredible, and he needs to get going with that. Note: this is NOT Medicare. Medi-Cal will pay for what Medicare doesn’t.
The two of you need to have a very serious conversation!
~VOW
Vow, if you don’t know, people with ALS are automatically qualified for SSDI/SSI. Some states also have a Medicaid exemption for people with any of a number of rare diseases, and ALS may be one of them (and this has been true for decades).
I suspect that the OP is in denial about a lot of things, the house being one of them. These are never easy decisions.
It’s not scads of money. But he’ll qualify for any number of housing and care resources. If he gets Medicaid as well, even better. He’ll qualify for food stamps, rides, help with utilities.
IMO, the only way he can go. He will have to eventually.
That’s a devastating disease. No one, but the very very richest can do it without help
OP, please let us know how you and he are doing.
Have you been to Ohio. Have you physically been in the same room with him? Have you seen this house? Has he seen this house?
If all is well with your hook up, try contacting Salvation Army or Habitat for Humanity for resources.