Moving in with Dad

As some of you know, my Father survived an Abdominal Aoric Anurysm (sp?).

He needs some help, & I am going to live with him.

Gonna hate to lose this apartment, but Dad needs me.

Possibly opposition from one of my brothers & my sister. They want him to move to Florida, with them, but he says no.

3rd time in a year I have to move.


Gotta be a good reason he chose to have you move in with him!

Not gonna say anything about it one way or the other except that what I have seen in the hospital thread makes me think he couldn’t have a better roomie! :slight_smile:

Are you going to have to put some stuff in storage? That’s an expense that can really be a drag!

Best wishes to you and Dad, my friend!


I can sympathize because we’re in the same situation. The hardest thing was giving up a lot of our freedom: we can’t come and go as we would like because my MIL needs us so much and hubby’s brother and sister are damn near useless. I also took care of my grandpa in the last years of his life. It will be a PITA at times, but it is so worth it.

Good luck, and you’re doing a good thing.

Moving is disorganized–I heard several diferent plans, & nothing is finalized.

Moving in definitely sounds like the right thing. Hope things get straightened out quickly. Good luck with everythiing!

You’re doing a good thing, but also make sure that you take some time out for yourself and do things you want to do. Taking care of a loved one can be extremely stressful and it’s important you take good care of yourself (mentally, emotionally and physically) as well as good care of your dad. Wish you all the best.

Quite frankly, Bosda, there has got to be a better solution. I’m sure you remember just as well as the rest of us how many of your posts here were about the problems you had living with your father before.

Check into what social services are available that can help you care for him. Figure on spending extra time at his house. Continue to try and talk him into going to your siblings.

But do not give up your own place; you’ll need an escape hatch. You and he living in the same house has historically seemed to create a toxic atmosphere that can’t be good for either of you.

I agree with Frank. You had problems before- although I hope they don’t occur again, they probably/ possibly will.

Frank puts it very well. In our case, hubby was spending a lot of time at her house when we had our own place. It was easier for us to move in. I see my husband more now, we help with the bills, and our children get to spend a lot of time with their one remaining grandparent. I wish we would have been able to keep our own place: but this works.

We have a storage room, and we have quite a bit of stuff in it. It’s hard having to go back and forth for things we need only once or twice. We have three stubborn, headstrong women in the same house, which makes life interesting at times. But I love my MIL very much, and she loves me: we have a great relationship, which makes it easy.

I have to agree with Frank. Bosda, this would really be a step backwards for you and I can’t help thinking your Dad’s illness is a bit of an excuse to give up on the whole independence thing. Giving up your apartment to help out for the month or two recovery time doesn’t make sense.

I’m sorry you have to move again, Bosda. Moving sucks.

Please check into any support services your area offers for seniors and their caretakers. Meals on Wheels, ride-shares to get him to appointments, anything.

And Dad told me not to start packing, when I phoned him today.
Maybe moving, maybe not.:smack:

Mixed signals.:smack:

And now, he’s saying–Florida, & selling the house.

That could be good news. Is he hoping to move near the sister in FL?

Okay, well, seems I was “out of town” when the above problems were discussed.

I was just going by what I read when Bos’s dad was in the hopsital and how he was always at his dad’s side.

Also going by Bos’s kindness to yours truly.



In with.

Only, when I phoned him this afternoon, it was “maybe” again.:smack:

Arg. Poor BosDad. Sounds like he’s not sure what to do, and probably unhappy with the idea of losing his independence.
Does he have a friend or a family lawyer with whom he can talk about options? Maybe his pastor? A neutral third party might help him to make a decision quicker, which will be less annoying for you.
I’m sorry to hear about his on-again/off-again plans. That would make me stabby.

Dad doesn’t want a pastor.

And he never talks over things anymore.

He used to with Mom, but she’s gone for 3 years now.