I can sympathize because we’re in the same situation. The hardest thing was giving up a lot of our freedom: we can’t come and go as we would like because my MIL needs us so much and hubby’s brother and sister are damn near useless. I also took care of my grandpa in the last years of his life. It will be a PITA at times, but it is so worth it.
You’re doing a good thing, but also make sure that you take some time out for yourself and do things you want to do. Taking care of a loved one can be extremely stressful and it’s important you take good care of yourself (mentally, emotionally and physically) as well as good care of your dad. Wish you all the best.
Quite frankly, Bosda, there has got to be a better solution. I’m sure you remember just as well as the rest of us how many of your posts here were about the problems you had living with your father before.
Check into what social services are available that can help you care for him. Figure on spending extra time at his house. Continue to try and talk him into going to your siblings.
But do not give up your own place; you’ll need an escape hatch. You and he living in the same house has historically seemed to create a toxic atmosphere that can’t be good for either of you.
Frank puts it very well. In our case, hubby was spending a lot of time at her house when we had our own place. It was easier for us to move in. I see my husband more now, we help with the bills, and our children get to spend a lot of time with their one remaining grandparent. I wish we would have been able to keep our own place: but this works.
We have a storage room, and we have quite a bit of stuff in it. It’s hard having to go back and forth for things we need only once or twice. We have three stubborn, headstrong women in the same house, which makes life interesting at times. But I love my MIL very much, and she loves me: we have a great relationship, which makes it easy.
I have to agree with Frank. Bosda, this would really be a step backwards for you and I can’t help thinking your Dad’s illness is a bit of an excuse to give up on the whole independence thing. Giving up your apartment to help out for the month or two recovery time doesn’t make sense.
Arg. Poor BosDad. Sounds like he’s not sure what to do, and probably unhappy with the idea of losing his independence.
Does he have a friend or a family lawyer with whom he can talk about options? Maybe his pastor? A neutral third party might help him to make a decision quicker, which will be less annoying for you.
I’m sorry to hear about his on-again/off-again plans. That would make me stabby.