I work in the psychology building and have for a number of years. Today I was heading out to get a cup of Starbucks coffee and as soon as I stepped outside (I use a rather hidden exit to the building) I heard a voice. I looked around a bit confused as I was not used to encountering anyone here. To my left there was the head of a large black homeless man, peering out from over a short fence and standing in some bushes. I had seen him at least once before, sitting on one of the benches eating a sandwich. He asked me to call security. I asked him if he was alright. He told me that he had shit himself. It smelled pretty awful. Obviously flustered, I took a second to respond. I told him, alright, hold on, I’ll get someone. He said “damnit” in the voice of someone who is obviously tremendously embarrassed and disappointed in themselves.
I then walked to the nearest emergency pole but didn’t like the idea of standing there explaining this situation to campus security who would take several minutes to get there and then would probably make me stick around and answer questions and even file a report. Besides, what were they going to do to help this guy? Give him a shower and do his laundry for him? Where? More likely they would hand him over to the police. Maybe that’s what he wanted, maybe he did this on purpose, or maybe not. All this stuff went through my mind.
I took the selfish route and began to walk back to my office so that I could call security anonymously from a phone. On the way back up I saw an empty gallon water jug on some stairs. I picked it up and stopped at a water fountain and waited a couple of minutes for it to fill. Then I looked over and saw an extra new heavy duty trash bag that the maintenance people sometimes leave peeking out from a trash can and grabbed it. Then I went into the bathroom and stole a new industrial sized roll of toilet paper from a stall. Apologies in advance to anyone who doesn’t check for TP before they use that stall. I didn’t call security. Instead I took this stuff down to him, and also gave him a 20 dollar bill. I told him to use this stuff to clean himself up as best as he could. Then I told him about a heavily vegetated part of the creek that is nearby where he could wash his clothes and get fully cleaned up. You take 15th St. north to the creek, then walk a few blocks east. I often hear homeless people living here late at night when riding my bike on the path. They play harmonica and laugh and joke, and sometimes even leave their sleeping bags during the day. You can’t see them from the bike path. I thought it was a pretty good idea. I told him, after you get cleaned up you should walk across town to Savers and get some new clothes - you have plenty of money now. He was wearing these same clothes the last time I saw him, some weeks ago. He looked confused. He asked me if he was supposed to wear the trash bag to the creek. I told him he should use the toilet paper and the water to clean himself up, and then throw the trash in the trash bag, and then walk to the creek and do a better job. He wasn’t entirely happy about this new plan.
Then I left, and on my way back I took a different entrance to the building so I wouldn’t encounter him again.
