I’m sure that anyone here who knows me well has heard my tales of woe regarding my mother. Lately, since I’ve been in an intensive outpatient therapy program for the last five weeks, she’s seemed to change her attitude and has been incredibly supportive. And I’m unbelievably grateful.
But tomorrow I leave to go visit her for a week and I’d just like some pep talk to ensure that I maintain positive boundaries while I’m there and continue to work on being healthy and not backslide into negativity no matter what her disposition might be end up being. So if you can spare a good vibe, well wish or prayer, I’d be eternally thankful for your help.
Good luck! I have the same pep talk with myself before I go visit my parents, because my father can be…moody. I’m responsible for myself only, not for him and how he choose to act.
i come from a difficult and complicated family background too. but family is family, and you will be okay. stay strong! sending positive thoughts your way.
I can relate. Today my dad hung up on me during a phone conversation in which I told him that mom should be able to do what she wants on Mother’s day, not what he wants. A little background; every year he wants my brothers and sister and me and our spouses to come to their house for a BBQ. Every year mom doesn’t like it. She caves because it’s not worth the fight. This year my sister and I decided to spend a day with mom sometime soon doing things together that she would enjoy, and one of my brothers is going over there tomorrow to bring her flowers for her garden and a hug. He is very relieved that we won’t we doing the BBQ (my sister called him). It’s about time that we supported mom’s wishes instead of everybody just caving in to dad like we do every year.
Dad pitched a fit, told me that I’m selfish, and hung up on me. My sister was there at the time and he asked her to call me back to say that he didn’t mean to yell and was sorry. When I asked to talk to him, he refused to come to the phone.
Now he will give mom a hard time about the fact that she doesn’t want to have the damn BBQ, and ‘don’t you care about your children’ and all that.
faithfool, you can and will get through this week. If it gets bad, look forward to when you’re on your own again and keep telling yourself, “It’s only x days until I’m out of here.”
Sending “be strong” thoughts to the OP. My mother can be…difficult. Mainly because she can’t keep her negative thoughts to herself. She doesn’t understand why I get frustrated with her.:rolleyes:
So, even though I’m a mom too, I get to spend another Mother’s Day with her, my MIL, my sis and her family and in-laws. It’s gets crowded and I become stressed. I’ve never had a Mother’s Day with just me and the husband and kids…EVER. Most Mother’s Days, we have everyone here and I do all the shopping, cooking, and prep work. Yeah…not fun.
I feel guilty for feeling the way I do, I really do, but I’m beginning to really resent the ALL FAMILY, ALL THE TIME, for every…single…holiday.
Sorry, went off the rails. Really, faithfool, hang in there. You can do it!
My mother recently came to visit me. For the first time in 3 years. It was a wonderful visit and we had a blast. She left, got hooked up with an MLM, came back 2 weeks later for what I thought was a visit, but instead, was a hard-sell 2 days of MLM wonderfulness.
She won’t carry on a conversation with me. She used to call me regularly, she hasn’t called me since I said no to her MLM. I called her today, she spent the whole time talking to someone else and giving me half answers.
Good luck faithfool. I understand completely how hard it is to set boundaries with family. Especially one you wish more than any other, would support you at least as much as a bunch of random strangers on a message board does.
Thanks everyone so much. It got a little rocky there in the middle, and by the end I was more than glad to go, but I think all of your well wishes are what sustained me.
I’m glad it’ll be a while before I have to do that again.
sending positive thoughts your way.