I’m very fascinated with the very roundabout way some people speak English, and its ability to lend itself to this sort of thing, by way of inserting empty words and phrases like “indeed” and “as it were” and “quite” and all other sorts of things that you can put into a sentence in order to amuse oneself, and, possibly but not always likely, others, and to keep that blasted period at bay. So, in order to celebrate this wonderful characteristic of one of the world’s most amusing languages, I’ve thought of arranging this endeavour whose nature should be blatantly obvious from the thread title, as it were and all that.
Some rules:
We first figure out a basic sentence that lends itself especially well to this sort of thing. I think perhaps it should express some sort of opinion, but I’m not really sure.
The sentence should be kept at least somewhat grammatically correct, although not at the expense of jolly good phrasings.
Readability and fluidity should be readily sacrificed.
Revisions to the sentence should not change its basic meaning too much.
No bloody American, Australian, South African, Indian, &c bastardisations! Queen’s proper blasted english.
So, any ideas for a basic sentence? Or rule amendments, for that matter.
I just flipped open my favorite novel, David Copperfield, in case you, for whatever reason, couldn’t tell, and immediately, and quite excitedly, found the following run on, in all it’s entertaining glory, buried in one of Mr. Micawber’s lengthy, yet informative, letters.
[QUOTE=Mr. Micawber]
In bidding adieu to the modern Babylon, where we have undergone
many vicissitudes, I trust not ignobly, Mrs. Micawber and myself
cannot disguise from our minds that we part, it may be for years
and it may be for ever, with an individual linked by strong
associations to the altar of our domestic life.
[/QUOTE]
This was literally on the first page of David Copperfield that I flipped open. Dickens was the master of these kinds of sentences, which I do get a kick out of.
Having been presented with sentence as a foundation, I will undertake to begin the elaboration, not unlike the mason who, notwithstanding the essential labors of other construction workers, must first lay the first layer of bricks.
“The boy’s errand, from which he was not unlikely to be distracted by the many diversions available to a boy upon his route, was to buy butter, bread, and milk.”
The boy’s errand, from which he was not unlikely to be distracted by the many diversions available to a boy upon his route, was to buy butter, bread, and milk from the little store around the corner that his mother always avoided ever since her unfortunate encounter with the proprietor.
The boy’s errand, from which he was not unlikely to be distracted by the many diversions available to a boy upon his route, was to buy cow butter, wheat bread, and cow milk from the little store around the corner that his mother always avoided ever since her unfortunate encounter with the proprietor, a most unusual man in his late forties.
The boy’s rather unspectacular little errand, from which he was not unlikely to be quite distracted by the many joyful, and too a little boy, all too tempting diversions available to said boy upon his otherwise not too long route, was to buy a small amount of cow butter, wheat bread if it was not in fact too old, and cow milk, at least as far as he could remember, from the little store round the corner that his mother always had avoided ever since her unfortunate and unforgettable encounter with the proprietor, a most unusual, if not downright rare man in his late forties perhaps, unless it was his early fifties, it was not very easy to tell, anyway about that age or somesuch.
BarkisThanks! I should have known, of course, but I’m adding Dickens to the reading list.
The boy’s rather unspectacular little errand, from which he was not unlikely to be quite distracted by the many joyful, and too a little boy, all too tempting diversions available to said boy upon his otherwise not too long route, was to buy a small, but not too small, amount of cow butter, just a simple single loaf of wheat bread if it was not in fact too old, and in a quite unusual turn of events, not one but two gallons of cow milk, at least as far as he could remember, from the little store round the corner that his mother always had avoided ever since her unfortunate and unforgettable encounter with the proprietor, a most unusual, if not downright rare man in his late forties perhaps, unless it was his early fifties, give or take a few years, it was not very easy to tell, anyway about that age or somesuch.
The boy’s rather unspectacular little errand, from which he was not unlikely, despite his noble intentions, to be quite distracted by the many joyful, and to a little boy, all too tempting diversions available to said boy upon his otherwise not too long route, was to buy a small, but not too small, amount of cow butter, just a simple single loaf of wheat bread if it was not in fact too old, and in a quite unusual turn of events, not one but two gallons of cow milk, at least as far as he could remember, from the little store round the corner that his mother, in as much as she could even be considered a mother, for other than to assign trivial errands to him, she interacted with her son in a rather rude and, indeed, many times down right mean manner, always had carefully avoided ever since her unfortunate and unforgettable encounter with the proprietor, a most unusual, if not downright rare man in his late forties perhaps, unless it was his early fifties, give or take a few years, it was not very easy to tell, anyway about that age or somesuch, in which the mother’s aforementioned rudeness and meanness took quite a hold of her when she scolded the proprietor, despite his aforementioned advanced age, for his mere mention of her scarf.
