The Double Entendre Thread

Here’s the scoop:

You come up with a witty double entendre for the sentence the previous poster has left, then leave your own sentence(s) for the next poster. Or modify it if you have a better idea.

Got it?


Here’s my sentence, I’ll start with a gimme:

I like pumpernickle bread. I especially love it toasted, slathered with butter and hot out of the toaster.

I won’t butter your bread, but I’d be happy to put a glaze on your muffin.

Spare the rod, spoil the child.

Getting a rod like yours would sure leave me spoiled!

**Flipping Jedi sometimes fall **

(from Attack of the Clones toy commercial )

Flip my Jedi all you want, it never falls.


And so it was, our beloved corporate gods claimed they created rock video.

If you rock my video, I’ll show you my bottom line.
The rain in Spain stays mainly in the plain.

My reign in Spain – or anywhere else – is anything but plain. :wink:

Warning: Not fit for human consumption.
(easy one!)

But hey-- they don’t call me “The Eating Machine” for nothing.
This picture of me looks terrible.

Maybe we can try it again with a different outfit. Say, your birthday suit?

Once, I fell off the roof of a gymnasium.

Is there anything you need me to rub, or to kiss to make it better?

My hovercraft is full of eels.

Is that a hovering eel in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
Are you a good witch or a bad witch?

Oooh, I LOVE eel! Sweet, sorta salty and they’re so long that they last forever!

My toe itches and it’s just not stopping no matter how much I scratch!


Well, I like to be a good witch but when I’m bad, I’m better.

Back to :

My toe itches and it’s just not stopping no matter how much I scratch!

I could scratch that itch for you, but it’d just come back in seven years.

I’ve got a hankering for some bacon.

Wanna fuck?

Damn, I’m just no good at these double entredres.

I don’t know about bacon, but I got some pork you can munch on.

These pretzels are making me thirsty.

I got a twisted position that’s real juicy.

So, how about this weather?

It’s hot. Real hot. Hot and wet.

Have you seen my car keys?

No, but I could drive you crazy searching in dark places for them.
What time is it?

I don’t know, sweetheart, but I think your bells are gonna be ringing in about ten minutes!

Would you care for something to drink?

Yeah, guzzle my cum, you nympho slut.
I am the very model of a modern major general.