I work for the Gub’mint. No, I’m not THE MAN, but I am one of his kids. Anyhow, every Thursday the general public books 30-minute meetings to discuss their plans for development. These are non-binding informal meetings (To which I am required to wear a tie) just to be helpful to those folks who need a hand.
The problem is that these meetings are BORING. Unlike the other representatives present, I only become involved when there’s a problem and they need the Axeman to deliver the news. So I spend most of these sessions trying to look professionally interested while I think of funny and/or shocking things that would be fun to witness or perform at this meeting.
One of my favorite ideas would be to have all my coworkers look like they’ve been in a serious fight. Bloody, torn clothes, black eyes, overturned chairs and the such. Then when the applicant comes in, everybody acts like there’s absolutely nothing unusual, even when asked.
Another would be to have the meeting table set for a formal dinner complete with an ice sculpture centerpiece. All the staff would be in tuxedoes or formal dresses. Once again, everybody acts like it’s completely normal. In fact, we could repeatedly refer to the “Informal” status of the meeting.
Also, we could have a dead “Applicant” being carried out on a stretcher as the next one comes in. When they sit down, we say jovially, "Well, I hope we don’t get another [whatever the guy sitting down is there for] again!
I must say that these thoughts have gotten loose on occasion. At the start of the meeting, each person introduces themself for the tape recorder (I’m so-and-so with zoning, so-an-so with utilities, etc…). When my turn came I said, “And I’m <name> with sports and traffic.” Well, they know I fell off the bell curve a long time ago, but this surprised them.
What ideas do you guys/gals/transgendered folk have?