I don’t think it’s that simple. Sure some people are always doormats for everyone else. But more often than anybody wants to admit, aren’t we a doormat for this *one person * at some point in our life?
Nope, I’m a complete bitch with everyone. It’s much simpler that way, you see.
Us “asshole guys” generally try to have sex with them too.
VCO3 hit it on the head. You don’t hear Nice Girls whining about their situation in life because they have no problems getting guys.
Hey Guin! Bite yer tongue, that’s mah wife yer talkin’ about!
So…the nice guys don’t get the girls for whatever reason and whine about it, the nice girls settle for the jerk who hits on her constantly and settles for it. But where are all the bad girl sluts in this model?
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No, seriously, where are they? My entire weekend is free.
I have to dissagree with most of the posters, there is a “nice girl” type out there - they appear to repel men (nice and otherwise) just as well as any nice guy can repel women.
This is what most have in common -
Not but ugly, but on the plain side. Usually over weight and don’t wear make-up or dress in a way that flatters what they do have.
Trash men a lot, hold them in contempt. Say lots of things like - “If the husband and wife have different versions of what happened, always believe the wife. Men are clueless.”
Don’t go out anywhere in an attempt to meet men. If a guy doesn’t talk 'em up after church, they’re never going to cross paths.
Complain ALL THE G*DDAMN TIME about the fact they can’t find, meet, or date men. Usually say they could find jerks at a bar, or guys who want “just one thing”, but nobody who wants to go out with nice women (like them).
Off the top of my head, I can think of 6 women I’ve worked with that fit that description. Perhaps they’re getting something on the side and not telling anyone, but I seriously doubt it.
What about the code of ‘nice girl’ used similarly to ‘good personality’ to describe someone with less than stellar looks?
As in “You should go out with my neighbor/roommate/cousin, she’s a nice girl.”
Aargh, aargh, aargh, that’s ME! Or at least it was, till I met Crusoe, who’s not in the least bit parasitic and wants to take care of me as much as I want to take care of him. Strangely though, I didn’t identify with the thread title at all and wouldn’t have ever thought of myself as a “Nice Girl”. But that description fits me to a “T”.
Given the standard use of the term Nice Guy, this is the closest female equivalent.
And the fact that she turns into a 6-pack anda pizza after midnight.
But I thought all of that was just a given.
The term Nice Girl is somewhat problematic, because it has different connotations than Nice Guy. In my experience, a Nice Girl is looked on as a good thing, and there isn’t any implication of dysfunction. She’d be loving, stable, and possibly a good mother; someone appropriate for the phrase “You should find a nice girl and settle down.” She’s pretty much the opposite of the wild, slutty bad girl that men find enticing.
However, as an analogue to the Nice Guy, the term Nice Girl would be defined differently.
I’d say they’re both people who can give too much without asking enough in return. They’ll be your best friend and advise you on all your relationships with jerky men or slutty women, all the while wishing that you’d notice them, but not doing anything about it because being aggressive wouldn’t be “nice.” They’ll privately bemoan the fact that all women want assholes, or all men want trashy ho’s, and no one notices the “nice” people.
There’s also the scary Nice Guy, who pulls out the two dozen roses and string quartet on the second date. He thinks he’s being romantic, and not being like those jerks who just want sex, when in fact the woman might have gone for a quick shag but the over-the-top romance screams “commitment” with someone she barely knows so she runs away. The female analogue I guess would be the woman who starts picking out china patterns on the second date; she’s equally terrifying. Both of them just don’t understand how people work; that too much too soon scares people. However, the Nice Guy is confused by the stereotype that women want romance, but it doesn’t seem to work for him, while the Nice Girl simply reaffirms the stereotype that men are afraid of commitment.
Both Nice Guy and Nice Girl are probably fairly clueless when it comes to recognizing people hitting on them.
Both are probably chasing unrealistic goals, as well; they both want an unattainable partner and don’t have eyes for the average folks around them.
Nice Girls tend to be, on average, less attractive than Nice Guys. This is simply because the better looking Nice Girls get chased by men and eventually work things out, whereas the better looking Nice Guys can wallow in their misery forever.
Yep, mine too. I’m quoting someone else, but men don’t love weak women, they use weak women. If being used is close enough to being needed that it satisfies your needs, you may be a Nice Girl.
I would guess that you don’t hear from Nice Girls because they tend to hook up with abusive, controlling men (agressive or not) who subsequently isolate them from outside contact.
Or I could just be projecting here. I was a Nice Girl, once. After therapy, several very patient friends, and time, I beat it too. I’ve had two healthy relationships since then, so it can be done, but I still wince when I see a girl being “Nice”.
The Nice Guy/Girl[sup]TM[/sup], for whatever reason, is not particularly attractive to members of the gender they wish to attract. But rather than attempting to change him/herself to be more attractive, the Nice Guy/Girl[sup]TM[/sup] whines and blames the pool of potential partners, often expressing contempt for them and further alienating them with a hostile attitude.
As Paula Poundstone once said, “It’s a damn shame that being desperate and lonely doesn’t make us more attractive.”
This is not witty or clever; it is sexist and insulting. You’re saying to women, “I have such contempt for you as a human being that as soon as I’m through fucking you, I hope you turn in to an inanimate object.” How do you expect a woman to take that? If you didn’t mean it, why say it, when it’s so obviously insulting? I never found this type of remark funny; if I had, they would’ve stopped being funny after about the 20,000th time. This type of remark expresses contempt for women, period.
If any women reading this find Inigo’s remark humorous, please speak up.
Is this a whoosh? I thought Inigo’s comment was funny enough to earn a smile from me, and wholly appropriate to a thread dealing with male/female stereotypes.
Sengkelat, I think you summed things up just perfectly.
I think it was just a joke. Not particularly funny, but not offensive either.
Hell, I’d say the same thing about the perfect guy. 
Take a breath. Scroll up a bit further. Read. Keep the words “in context” and “tongue in cheek” in mind.
Or not.
Feel free to be shrill and unreasonable if it works for you.
In one iteration of my online dating profile, I referred to myself as “a nice person, but not a nice girl.” That line didn’t stay in there long, though, because of the kind of room for interpretation of “nice girl” that is evidenced in this thread. 
What I meant by it was: I like my fellow humans and I do my best to be kind, thoughtful, sensitive, etc., but I’m not going to smother you, I’m hardly ever demure, I am candid and open-minded about sex, I have two un-trendy tattoos, etc. Sometimes I feel like women get put into one of two groups, either jaded man-haters or naïve sweet things (unlike some other posters, I don’t think that physical attractiveness has anything to do with it). “Nice person but not a nice girl” was my attempt at letting potential dates know up-front that I don’t fit neatly into any predefined categories. (I’m not a “bad girl,” either, which is another reason that line didn’t stay in my profile for long. <g>)
In short, I agree with what Long Time First Time wrote.
Yeah, what everyone else said. Get a grip.