I could pick on the INCREDIBLY OBVIOUS TYPO…
but I won’t.
Shouldn’t “but” be capitalized since it’s starting a new sentence?
Well, I can carry a tune, and I’m no slouch in the kitchen. But I’m mostly a tenor - If I tried to sing that low, I’d break something. It wouldn’t be pretty.
It’s the Crewman Daniels keyboard from Ebay. It types before my fingers touch the keys.
Damn, carni has all the cool Crewman Daniels stuff. The keyboard, the Canadian TV feed… All I have is a Crewman Daniels alarm clock, that wakes me up well before I actually want to get up.
Where’s Cervaise, anyhow? I wanted to thank him for the Death Cookie, though I was hoping for chocolate chip.
Kn(Death Cookies are low-cal)ckers
Just look through the stuff in your closets, Kn*ckers.
Crewman Daniels leaves stuff for all good boys, girls and Star Ship Captains, like Santa Cla…er, the Macabees.
Mmmm… Macabees… [drool]
Anyone else get a mental picture of Killer Bees from South America doing the Macarena?
That would be so cool!
btw, I have the Crewman Daniels Quantum Dating Tricorder™
I point it at a woman and it tells me if she’s going to be my next ex or not.
Funny thing is, though… It looks like a large phallus! Imagine the hilarity that ensues from my using it in crowded shopping malls or at suburban high schools. 
Good times.
rummaging through closets
Letsee:
Soccer cleats… Pants… Pants… Empty boxes… Christmas lights…
growing increasingly frenzied
Half-knitted scarf… college textbooks… corset… hand weights…
Dammit. Dammit!
Hiking boots… vacuum cleaner…
giving up, dejected
I guess I haven’t been a good girl or boy or starship captain! Crewman Daniels didn’t come to my house this year!
I’ll be better next year, I promise!
There must be something time travelish about a corset, but I can’t think of it…maybe Daniels will tell me yesterday.
She doesn’t use the corset for time travel and I have the bruises to prove it!
Ow! Safe word! Safe word, already!
hayelp!
“Hayelp” is not the safe word. I’m sorry, you lose.
If the corset is from Crewman Daniels, he better pay me back. I’d be kind of annoyed by paying for my own presents.
Try leaving milk and cookies out on Federation Day.
How many times do I have to tell you people, I have a life over the weekend. 
Especially this past weekend, which launched the Seattle film festival, and wherein I saw more than a dozen of the eighty movies I have scheduled over the next three-plus weeks.
Besides, that previous post was in error. I was using Crewman Daniels’ laptop to post from the future and accidentally made reference to something that won’t show up on the boards for another twelve years. Sorry about that. Just pretend you didn’t see it and you’ll be a lot happier. Here, look at my silver pen… <FROTZ>
…Where’s… Cervaise?.. Why hasn’t he responded yet?..
Ah.
Yes, but Cervaise hasn’t responded to the real question that was raised earlier:
Should I be insulted that Aesiron compared me to Neelix? I mean Neelix fer cryin’ out loud…
Oh, I’m sorry, where was I? …the real question that was raised earlier:
Who is confused (read the post by cplant at the top of this page)? Cervaise, when you’re taking a break at the film festival, do you use the slow moving line, or the fast one? Or do you use crewman Daniels’ gender selector to switch depending on your mood? Are you a good witch? Or a baaaad witch? And what is really the deal with Starbucks? Do the people in Seattle really love that stuff? Or do they just laugh at the rest of the country while drinking the good coffee themselves?
Andy Rooney? Is that you?
Moby Dick?
Coffee?
Battlestar Ponderosa?
Sorry. I had some kind of stream of consciousness thing going on.
Damn, Tars.
You and I living in the Pit today?