Enterprise Cease Fire spoilers

Cafe Society
621

Hmmm… What would I do if I were a god?

Well, since I already have an RCF™*, given to me by the Gods, this is really a moot q.

But, oh well…
First, I would make sure Aesiron gets randomly sodomized over a long period of time by Mountain Gorillas with syphilis. Just when he thought it was finally over… BAM! There it goes again.

Then, I would make petite redheads with blue or green eyes the standard of beauty. I wouldn’t change eveyone, you see, just put those girls up where they belong. On a pedastal next to me.

I would permanently endow The Dope™ with whatever they need to stay free forever, and would constantly upgade the servers as new technology becomes available.

I would make my penis smaller. I would get laid more often, since there would be less fainting or dieing from fright.

I would ensure that everyone gets what’s coming to them. Good or bad.

I would create a new plant. 500 ft tall, bright orange, and it would smell putrid.

I would dress up like a cow, trick virgins into talking with me, then change to myself (new, smaller penis, remember?) and would impregnate them.

I would sleep outside more often.

Oh yeah, send some more monkeys over to Aesiron’s place.

*Remote Control of the Fates™

622

You stold that from Time Bandits, you low life!

623

It’s not stealing.

It’s plagerizing.

624

The Scarlet Spell Checker!

625

viva forget her sunblock while on Risa or somethin’?

626

I didn’t forget it. But that margarita put a blush in my cheeks.

IN MY FACE, Aes–lest you misunderstand (deliberately).

627

Actually, I wouldn’t even think of that for fear of finding out how you discovered your other cheeks blush.

628

Die, thread, diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Oops.

629

Okay, I lied. How did you discover that your other cheeks blush?

630

Uhhhhhhh…Thinks fast…The dye in my hot pink bathing suit started running…?

631

That still doesn’t explain how you noticed your butt was hot pink.

632

Don’t be getting cheeky about my butt.–(A line to be spoken by Trip in a future episode.)

633

No need to be anal. :stuck_out_tongue:

634

Ah, yes, Crewman Anal. He scrubs the decks and plasma conduits with a 21st-century toothbrush just because they weren’t quite shiny enough to please him.

635

He’s Reed’s great-grandpappy.

636

And I’m sure they both enjoy being forced to do menial labor.

Somehow, I get the feeling that Trip and McCoy are somehow related. And Archer and Kirk.

637

I wouldn’t be the least bit surprised if they not so subtly foreshadow that sometime in the next five seasons.

And that T’Pol is of Sarek’s house or somesuch. Bah.

638

Exactly. Archer’s speech patterns alone must be a genetic anomaly that he passes down to Kirk. They’re transcribed hilariously at Television Without Pity. I suspect you wouldn’t want to read all 13 pages per episode, but just one would suffice.

639

I do not need another message aboard on top of the four I already read.

640

Maybe you thought that last episode was called “The BREECH.”