Hey! This is my “spoilers (really)” thread.
Dammit.
Spoilers, really:
It’s not fanfic. It’s my very own, but I actually wrote it a few years before that episode.
I never watched X-Files. I saw my very first (part of an) episode earlier this afternoon when I was passing in and out of consciousness after trying to watch an ST:TOS episode before that.
All I can remember is the guy ranting about the girl eating bee pollen and yogurt or something and then getting carted away in 'cuffs at the end of the episode. 