How do you weld baby seals?
Man, IMing while drinking 151 Bicardi and Coke is fun.
Plus, I get to misunerstand people for fun and profit!
I seem to have made a date with someone from new haMpshire, tho.
To guote kn(Bartlett)ckers, “Wow. I’ll have what he’s having.”
btw, I didn’t get to go see Kirk and Spook in Tulsa.
I went to the banque to deposit a cheque and gte some money baque… and the girl said my DL was 5 mos expired!
Well, I just deposited it went ATM but decided not to chance my lead foot on the turncapnpike and risk arrest or heavy fine.
So, a bud and I decide to hangout and complain 'bout our wimmins.
ThAn me came home and started IMing her and some strangers.
See above for results.
Shut UP!
“guote”?
Damn, now you’ve got me doing it!
Look. All I did was try to make plinkyr fuck’n cat evolve, right?
Can’t evolve if it won’t walk on its hind legs, right?
Ain’t my fault plinkyr freak’n cat is paranoid 'bout coming out of plinkyr bedroom now, right?
So what if me and Dicky boy went out fer some drinks? It’s not like I met an old gf working at Hooters! I mean, not like I meant to. Yeah, I knew she got a job there since she left her latest boo. (Damn! You should see those space titties! Oh yeah, I have!)
I’m still an ass, though, right?
Ah well… I’m sure I’ll see the light in the tomorrow. I’d better. I like this girl more than I’m prepared for. Growing up is hard. Esp for a 40 yr old Trekker. Hmm… I think I’m figuring out what’s important to me. I don’t like making her mad.
But, then again, I thought I had settled down with the last squeeze. Til it all fell apart. Maybe I need to fight eskimos for a while.
What episode is this?
Does this count as a rant or a rave?
With a Baby Seal Welder!
Or a phaser-cutting phaser with a modified barrel.
Booze + Trek + NCB = 
I have a full set of Bloom County Chromium trading cards, and bitchin’ they are.
Plinky jealous yet?
That’s a modified emitter tube, Heisenberg breath.
Get a grip.
Pistol grip?
[Foghorn leghorn]Ah say, Ah say your mouth is a prepetual motion machine, son, Ah say it nevah stops. [/Foghorn Leghorn]
I’m Jealous, Viva
Oh, NCB thanks for the link. That has one of my all time favorite Bloom County cartoons. Heh, heh. “Hairy Fishnuts”
Ha! Funniest line in an Enterprise thread! Evah!
Thank you, thank you.
I also do Birthdays, Bar Mitzvahs and children’s parties.
Anyone ever read http://www.ditl.org? I just finished exchanging a series of emails with its administrator over one of his articles and he said when he next updates the site, I’ll get a mention in the newly revised piece.
Q’apla! My trekkieness has been cemented!
Your not a true geek unless you’ve gotten a restraining order!
I was once fired for sexual harrassment.
Does that count?
What happened? The Corporate Panda wouldn’t leave you alone?
No, I was 19, working part time in the shoe dept of Monky Wards.
Well, it was a boring, slow Tuesday night, no one in the store. So, the honey who was working with me liked the idea that I had of going back in the stockroom and “stretching shoes.” 
(yes, we were involved, it wasn’t just casual plak tow)
Anyhoo… there was this little BAC working in jrs (or something) that kind of had a crush on me and would find a lot of time to come chat with me on slow nights. The shoe stretchy girl had loads of fun with that one, let me tell ya.
Since that night was slow, she came around to the shoe dept. Not seeing anyone on the floor, she wandered into the stockroom. We were in the back, behind a few aisles of shoes and cowboy boots, but she (BAC) followed the ahem unfamiliar noises and found us.
Shoe honey had a mean streak and looked right at her saying, “Wait your turn, honey.”
BAC girl left rather quickly.
Being such a chivalrous young Texan, I was about to run after her. Shoe honey didn’t want that to happen, tho. “We’re not finished.”
(Gosh, I loved the bitchy ones even at that tender age!)
So, a little later (hey, I was 19), I made my way over to Jrs dept to talk to BAC girl. She seemed upset. So, I tried my sleasiest to lie and come off as a good boy debased by the petite little strawberry blonde with the major rack (shoe honey) who only really wanted a ltr with a good girl, her. (She was a blondie, too, but taller, and a heavenly smile ((yeah, I still regret this mistake)) ).
I actually had her agreeing to accompany me on a “date” that night. We could go to the late night fried icecream stand (don’t ask), hang out down at Surf Side (a lover’s lane type place) and try to count the stars out that night. I added: “Then you and I could fuck, so you can see why shoe honey likes it so much.”
Well, she slaps me. Hard. [Johnny Depp] Alright, I may have deserved that one. [/JD]
Runs out of the store, crying.
A couple of days later, management asks me to leave. She told her friends she didn’t ask them to do that, but she did give them the whole story.
Shoe honey stayed there a while, I got busy remodling, we went out for a few months more.
I really did a bad thing to BAC Jrs girl. A few years later, we ran into each other at the beach and she told me she forgave me. But, it was hard for her to talk to me, so I know I had wounded her.
See what happens when you act like a jerk? You hurt people.
At times, I still have those tendencies, tho I do tend to catch myself before being an ass. Usually.
Does this count as a hijack?