Top 10 things likely to be overheard if you had a Klingon Programmer
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“You cannot really appreciate Dilbert unless you’ve read it in the original Klingon.”
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“Indentation?! - I will show you how to indent when I indent your skull!”
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“What is this talk of ‘release’? Klingons do not make software ‘releases’. Our software ‘escapes’ leaving a bloody trail of designers and quality assurance people in its wake.”
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“Klingon function calls do not have ‘parameters’ - they have ‘arguments’ - and they ALWAYS WIN THEM.”
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“Debugging? Klingons do not debug. Our software does not coddle the weak.”
5) "My program has just dumped its StovoCore!"
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“A TRUE Klingon Warrior does not comment his code!”
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“By filing this SPR you have challenged the honor of my family. Prepare to die!”
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“You question the worthiness of my code? I should kill you where you stand!”
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“Our users will know fear and cower before our software!”
“You must fight me to the death in order obtain the upgrade you wish”.
I tried to think of Ferenghi programming, but it woulkd be just like Microsoft.
I didn’t pay the two extra strips of gold pressed latinum for a spell checker.
It’s up again this week.
Say it with me, y’all: Wisp. Whissp. Whiiis-p.
::watches tumbleweed blow by::
Hey, where did everybody go? I was starting to think you’d all wisp-ed off somewhere.
Aes, did you get the latest tape?
We be sail’n over here, yarrr…
[real life hijack]
Hey, Trek Dopers - 'member how I said I was quitting my job?
I just did it. My boss was shocked and horrified; she had no idea I was miserable here. Odd, since it’s a miserable place, but whatever.
NOW, I feel guilty, scared and happy. Not sure if that’s good or not…
[/rlh]
Yarrr!!!
A cup raised to Kn(quitherjobandisnowapirateyarrr)ckers!
May the wind be at yer back and the stars in yer eyes.
Haven’t gotten the tape yet.
Still looking for a job too. I need it now more than ever. I’m apparently the world’s worst driver and just had to get high liability insurance. $120 a month. Ugh.
I hate my life.
I think I missed this one. I’ll catch it (record it) this Wednesday.
I’ll gladly raise my glass to the charmin’ and loverly Kn(Take This Job and Shove it!)ckers. HR managers, watch out!
Heck, while I’m drinkin’, I’ll even include Aes.
May you find your dream job, even if you don’t know what job that is.
(drains glass of 15 year old single barrel bourbon)
Nice work if you can get it.
Best wishes wisp out from here to Aes and K*.
I raise a glass of Tranya to both…[sips]…Ahhhhh.