(I’d go with Hashberry . . .)
In terms of a . . . how shall I put it . . . liaison, I’d have to go with Lavalier. Eorache seemed to have a habit of turning those around her into mincemeat when she was in a playful mood, and Hashberry had personal hygiene issues. Besides, how can you not love someone who, when last seen, was sticking her finger down her throat in the ancient Elvish sign of farewell?
Now the underage female dragon of the opposite sex that Spam was involved with. . . .
(Move over, Hal Briston.)
I can’t believe I’m old enough to understand this post.
I believe I’d go with the elf-maiden from the prologue.
I’d prefer Zazu Pitts or Evelyn Wood…TRM ( who is surprised - but shouldn’t be - that BOTR actually has a wikipedia page!)
Gotta go with the scene stealer here:
Anyone as fair as a scrub oak gets my vote! 
Edit: And she sings the memorable lines: Honi soit la vache qui rit, hon soit la vache qui rit! What’s NOT to love?? 
If she’ll bathe a few times first, Hashberry. Otherwise Eorache. Forceful Germanic maidens are hot. Even if her wrist protector fits around a man’s neck.
Oh, wow, man, Hashberry.
Bing bing bing bing! Moi aussi.
To this day, I can’t hear someone use the word “pity” without thinking, “It’s a pity I’ve run out of bullets.”
Certainly one of the Harvard Lampoon’s best efforts. 
Or Moxie and Pepsi’s fecund carrots . . .
Me either.
“Tim! Tim! Tim Benzedrine!
Boo! Hash! And Valvolene!
First, Second, Neutral, Park!
Hie thee hence, thou leafy Narc!”
I can’t believe that I didn’t have to look that up.
You’re a better man than I.
Would probably do wonders for one’s night vision.
Nitpick: you left out “Clean! Clean! Clean for Gene!”
And then there’s the deathless preamble:
(Unfortunately, I can believe I didn’t have to look it up.)
What, no love for the Lady Lycra, with her eyes shining like wet mushrooms?
God how I love BOTR! Is is the most successful satire ever?
No, that would be The Cheap Detective.
“Tim! Tim! Tim Benzedrine!
Boo! Hash! And Valvolene!
First, Second, Neutral, Park!
Hie thee hence, thou leafy Narc!”
:mad:
Don’t forget, Clean! Clean! Clean for Gene!
Oh, how I dig thee, Hashberry,
From nose to sleazy Love-Beads!
Nitpick: It’s “you leafy narc”.
I always liked the voluptuous elf-maiden in the Prelude.