I know very few old-school “swingers” actually, but a fair handful of people involved in the BDSM, queer, and nerd scenes. Varying degrees of nonmonogamy seem pretty run-of-the-mill, and people don’t tend to be too tightlipped if they know you’re cool.
The only time my friends would freeze out discussion is if they’re worried the person they’re talking to wants to join in and they don’t want 'em to. So don’t be that guy and you’re gold. 
You’ve forever ruined Calvin and Hobbes for me. Thanks a lot.
My very limited experience is that the more the swingers are trying to fit into “normal” society, the more close-lipped they are. If the couple is trying to fit into the straight-laced conservative business world, they aren’t going to be broadcasting this far and wide. Whereas if the couple is in a more artsy, laid-back, liberal work environment, they are going to be less concerned who learns what they do.
Think about the situation with Jeri Ryan’s ex husband, Republican Jack Ryan, and how the custody records for their divorce being release negatively affected his political career. Some people’s careers are much more subject to the judgment of others who may be much less open-minded and tolerant.
Oh, absolutely. And I will totally concede that the circle of folks I know are all teachers, police officers, and other upstanding members of the community. I get their need for discretion 100%.
This is exactly the same as a “Dear Penthouse” letter I read in the 70’s only in that one the stud wasn’t fat. This is a cuckold’s fetish dream, it’s also pure bullshit. The thing that makes the BS-o-Meter explode is -
1: No one is giving his wife over over to be serviced by another man if he has even a small jealously issue. The main payoff to swapping beyond getting to have different women is in seeing your wife be aroused by another man, not competing with that man. If you are into swapping his wife’s response should be a huge turn on to him, not a problem.
2: No one on this planet would be yapping about this to his friends.
Just think of it as a new rule to Calvinball…