Independent of this thread, a friend sent me the following list when he heard the news:
Episode II: The Search for More Money
Episode II: The Wrath of Khan
Episode II: The graphic, painful mutilation of Jar-Jar
Episode II: The Death of Jar-Jar
Episode II: Jar-Jar’s Funeral
Episode II: Being Darth Vader
Episode II: Mark Hamill Returns!
Episode II: Meesah no in dis movie
Episode II: Explosions, Battles, and three-bladed light sabers
Episode II: Has to be better than Episode I
Episode II: the old Godzilla and King Kong vs. every Japanese monster vs. the Sith Lords vs. Jackie Chan vs. Xena and Gabrielle (estimated first weekend gross: $1.8 billion)
Let me be the first to say that I’m glad Lucas chose this title.
I have never cared for any of the Star Wars movies. In fact, despite being a science-fiction fan, I’ve never even been able to sit through an entire one. If I ever mentioned my dislike for the films to other SF fans, I’d end up either insulted or (worse still) subjected to a lecture on why everything I disliked about them was really Good and Brilliant and Wonderful and that Lucas is the most gifted filmmaker ever to draw breath.
The next time this happens, I plan to say “Oh yeah? If Lucas is such a genius, why’d he call his movie Attack of the Clones?”
Thursday, 9 August 2001 16:00 (ET)
What’s going on in Hollywood
By PAT NASON, UPI Hollywood Reporter
THE ADVENTURE CONTINUES
George Lucas’ studios were set a blaze late last night as angry fans hurled Molotov cocktails at studio personnel and buildings. Members of the mob were upset on what George Lucas described as an exciting and orignal title for the next espisode in the “Star Wars” saga, “Star Wars: Episode II Attack of the Clones.”
The leader of the angry mob, which goes by the alias “Space Ghost” had a very unusual speaking style referring to himself in the third person. “Space Ghost is not happy about this unfortunate turn of events”, the mob leader was quoted as police officers dragged him into custody.
The movie is due in theaters next year, joining the previous four chapters
in the six-episode Skywalker saga – “The Phantom Menace,” “A New Hope,” “The Empire Strikes Back” and “Return of the Jedi.”
The last movie sucked ass pretty badly, so fans were hoping for a higher quality movie this time around. It looks as though their wishes won’t be answered.
–
Copyright 2001 by United Press International.
All rights reserved.
Drop the “Star Wars” from the title. Drop the “Episode II” from the title. They should print out posters that say, simply, “The Clone Wars”. Probably put an interesting amalgamation of the characters posed near the bottom of the poster, with a huge army of clones standing in the background.
That’s how it should be. That’s how it MUST be. If it’s any other way, I’ll put a gun in my mouth.
(Well, okay, maybe I won’t… but I will whine about it, consarnit!)
