Science is definitely anti-Republican, liberal, socialist, and probably Muslim. Science denies the magical properties of gold. And it failed to explain where Saddam put the WMD. It also promotes gayness, when it could be dedicated to finding cures. But the very worst aspect of science, is that it encourages people to believe what they see, and not what they hear on Fox News.
So unless science apologizes for causing natural disasters, economic downturns, and high taxes, it should be banned. There is no Constitutional right to science, and if our founding fathers believed in science, they would have put it in the Constitution. Now this is a free country, and people have the right to believe in science if they want to, at least until it is banned, but everybody knows that belief in science is a gateway to other evils like consistent priniciples, objectivity, and Dan Rather.
I’m going out to buy some more guns tomorrow, because as long as mindless scientists can roam the streets with decent God fearing people, none of us are safe. God bless you Eric Cantor for putting an end to this societal scourge, and sounding the alarm to warn us all of the evil agenda of science, and its anti-American goals.
And all of you liberal Nazis out there, let me ask you a question. When the black helicopters land, and the illegal Mexican terrorists come to take away your hard earned tax break, who would you rather have on your side? An anemic, myopic, scientist, or a patriotic, Teabagger who understands intelligent design? Don’t learn the lesson the hard way, end science now before it dooms us all.