Errr.... *ahem*... Is there a Cecil Adams?

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Being relatively new to this board, and never having heard of “Cecil Adams” before arriving here, you can forgive me for initially thinking that a Cecil Adams actually exists.

However, certain remarks made to me in #straightdope suggested otherwise.

So, I took it upon myself to do some research and I found that the newspaper that “Cecil” works for had a bit of a legal battle over who has OWNERSHIP of the name “Cecil Adams”.

Within the article, it stated that ‘Cecil Adams’ is not an actual person, but rather, and I quote, a “Fanciful name”.

Ummm… Anyone want to shed light on this subject? Or is everyone going to point at me and say “WELL DURRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!”

2

MadHatter, your little friends are wrong. They have been affected by the skepticism of a sceptical age. They do not believe except they see. They think that nothing can be which is not comprehensible by their little minds. All minds, MadHatter, whether they be men’s or children’s, are little. In this great universe of ours, man is a mere insect, an ant, in his intellect as compared with the boundless world about him, as measured by the intelligence capable of grasping the whole of truth and knowledge.

Yes, MadHatter, there is a Cecil Adams.

He exists as certainly as the desire to know, understand, and fight ignorance exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest clarity and a good sense of not being stupid. Alas! how dreary would be the world if there were no Cecil! It would be as dreary as if there were no MadHatters. There would be no Straight Dope then, no SDMB, no MPSIMS or BBQ Pit to make tolerable this existence. We should have no Straight Dope books, except perhaps the encyclopedia and the dictionary. The external light with which Doperhood fills the world would be extinguished.

Not believe in Cecil Adams! You might as well not believe in
Ed Zotti. You might get your papa to hire men to watch the doors of the Chicago Reader to catch Cecil on his lunch break, but even if you did not see Uncle Cecil coming out, what would that prove? Nobody sees Uncle Cecil, but that is no sign that there is no Cecil Adams. The most real things in the world are those that neither children nor men can see. Did you ever see Ed Zotti dancing on the lawn? Of course not, but that’s no proof that he is not there. Nobody can conceive or imagine all the wonders there are unseen and unseeable in the world.

You tear apart the baby’s rattle and see what makes the noise inside, but there is a veil covering the unknown world which not the strongest man, nor even the united strength of all the encyclopedias, dictionaries, and reference works can push aside that curtain and view and picture the supernatural beauty and glory beyond. Is it all real? Ah, MadHatter, in all this world there is nothing else real and abiding.

No Cecil Adams? Thank God he lives and lives forever. A thousand years from now, MadHatter, nay 10 times 10,000 years from now, he will continue to make glad the heart of those who seek to fight ignorance.
I hope that answers your question!
with sincere apologies to the New York Sun and Francis P. Church

3

I am sure there is a Cecil, just as surely as I believe in the Invisible Pink Unicorn.

4

{small voice}

I HAVE seen Ed Zotti dancing on the lawn.

5

Ahh… Does anyone wanna switch seats?

6

Olentzero, I salute you!!

7

I second that, Olentzero. Thanks. That was beautiful.

8

Seriously, though–what’s this bit about ownership of the name “Cecil Adams”? I’m curious.

Pony up some links, MadHatter.

9

Here’s a ray of light
http://www.ipass.net/~whitetho/edcecil.htm

10

Is that “Whitetho”, whose web page that is, OUR Whitetho? Why does he have a whole web page on Early Radio History (okay, granted, maybe it’s his “thing”), but why does he have a disquisition on two photos purporting to be of Ed Zotti and Cecil Adams tacked onto it?

Besides, anyone can see that the two men are totally different–one is holding a baby, and the other one isn’t. One is black and white, and the other one is colored.

Actually, it’s obvious to me, from looking at the photos, that they are both enlargements of the “ghost kid” from Three Men and a Baby. Proof? There’s the baby, right there. What more do you want?

[Actually, I don’t know what difference it makes, whether or not Cecil Adams is a real person. The columns are a real hoot, whoever writes them. I don’t stop using my Fannie Farmer cookbook just because she’s not a real person, either.]

11

First you slander Fannie Farmer by saying she isn’t real. Next you’ll be off on Betty Crocker. Pretty soon you’ll be saying that I’M not all here! Where does it end?

12

Duck Duck Goose enquired:

Is that “Whitetho”, whose web page that is, OUR Whitetho? Why does he have a whole web page on Early Radio History (okay, granted, maybe it’s his “thing”),

well, more precisely, all-consuming obsession

*but why does he have a disquisition on two photos purporting to be of Ed Zotti and Cecil Adams tacked onto it?
*

Two and a half years ago, on the alt.fan.cecil-adams USENET group, someone asked what Ed looked liked. Because the group had earlier talked about the two articles with the photos, I had copies handy. I threw together some commentary, and posted the page. I had planned to delete it in a couple weeks, but then Matt Jettmore, who was the http://www.straightdope.com webmaster at that time, sent me an e-mail saying he had added a link to my effort on the Straight Dope FAQ page. So I never deleted my page, for fear of displeasing Cecil, who exists as a real person, and makes our lives worth living, and also brings the sun up each morning, among other tasks.

13

I remember hearing something about the fanciful name thing. It was my impression that ‘Cecil Adams’ is a pseudonym for someone who really does write the columns.

But I don’t remember where I heard this, and I could be wrong.

–John

14

Hey Yue Han! Long time no see! How you been??

OK, now that we got the formalities out of the way, report immediately to the Torture Chamber - er, Re-Education Room - to correct this, how shall we say, unfortunate delusion of yours that Cecil Adams is just a pseudonym. :smiley:

15

MadHatter, all those columns didn’t write themselves.

16

Cecil Adams has exactly as much existance as, say, Mark Twain or Anson Macdonald. There was never a person with the name “Mark Twain” on his birth certificate, but he existed just the same. Similarly, the person known as Cecil Adams who writes the columns may not use that same name on his income tax forms, but he certainly does exist. Further, all of the evidence suggests that that person is, in fact, one unique person, and that that person is not the same person as Ed Zotti or any of the other members of this board.

Besides, do you really think that Ed would have the time to edit and to write and research the columns? Being Cecil is a full-time job.

17

I’m going to move this thread to MPSIMS, which is where the Big Guy seems to post mostly nowadays.

18

Both. Cecil Adams was a registered trademark of the Reader & also, there are about 7 guys with his name in Chicogo.

19

Want to hear my theory?

I ran Cecil’s name through the anagram maker a few months ago and came up with a very interesting one:

Acid Mescal

Think about when the column was started… LSD and Mescaline(Peyote). Coincidence? I think not!

20

Oh, was that the earliest reprinted column?