Esoteric Rants on Anything..

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Ok…so here goes…This would my Rant/story…do anything you want with it…dissmis it…discuss it…burn it for all i care…but also be free to Rant on any topic.

You know…i sure do like muffins, one day i was walkin
down the path of the everlasting street of Crabby
meat and i said, “what’s this…a stale ol muffin on
the street?”, so i picked up the muffin and went on
jibber-jabbing with my friend Robot Jay, jay assured
me that the muffin was made of Man, i did not belive
jay, for he was a robo-pirate, and you can never
trust a robot turned pirate. I proceeded in eating the
muffin,it tasted like time…mm…time with bluberries in it
and a touch of mucus, i proceeded to throw up, but i
thought nothing of it, for i vomited on a daily
basis, but then a sense of doom came over, was i
eating Man,for if i was i’d be breaking up my trust in myself,for if i ate MAn, would i not eat Myself eventually,i
wouldn’t want to constantly keep one eye open, making
sure that i wouldn’t gourge upon myself. All the
while, Jay started talking about his recent rape of a
certain well to do Data-base, i will mention no names
for my groin is on fire. I stop thinking about
self-cannibalism and ask Jay if he was serious about
the muffin being made out of Man, he laughed a bit( robots can laugh you know, but you wouldn’t know, cause you’re a
Robo-bigot, i can tell, robots are no different from
us, except for their giant vibrating penises and gamma
radiation emmiting nipples, god i hate you!) and told
me that muffin was really made of pants. I was of
course relived for i could eat Pants, i just don’t
wanna eat Man, i mean man wears Pants, but Pants don’t
wear Man, but if pants were smart enough they’d wear
Man, but we all know Pants are from africa, so they
can’t k-now anything,peole in africa wear pants, but
don’t even k-now that they wear pants, strange isn’t
it? Then, to my horror i realized how close my pants were
to my Penis, and if the Pants were to rebel, they’d
go for my penis 1st, so i took of my pants, but when
i took them off i felt as if i was still wearing them,
as if i had on a pair of Naked Pants! I recalled my amazing
discovery to Jay, and he said, “D’argh Matey, NAked
Pants are for Raping and Pillaging, not for takin a
walk down the street…shiver me giant metal penis
intestines!” We all had a good laugh, and i probed
Jay with a willow branch…ahoy!

2

My god…look at that horrible spacing…i had no idea it would do that…sorry about that folks

3

And that’s the only thing you’re sorry about?

4

um…words fail me…

5

Jeesh, what do you say to that?

(what the hell is it, by the way?)

6

I guess i’m the only one that has these eccentric rants every now and then…i would of thought that you guys would understand…and spill your guts…i guess it’s time for me to go sit in the corner, for i am obviously shunned.

7

Very unusual, HalberMensch242. I did read it, but have to admit that close spacing, for some reason, intimidates me.

There is a game sort of like this, where people purposely divert the topic of a conversation, taking one word or phrase from the last player’s statement, and going with it in a direction tangent to the original statement.

Is that what you were trying to do within your own rant?

8

I don’t think i was trying to play that game…but you never know. I was just venting some creative, yet cryptic energy. I kinda felt relieved after i wrote, eventhough it didn’t make much sense, even to me.

9

well, this other time i was sitting in my car minding my own business when this bird landed on the windshield, a he wasn’t just like any bired you know, he was a smart bird, because hewas wearing glass and he kept chirping in this little sound that seemed to sound like “eeeeiiin-steeeeiiinn”. So anyway I just drove off and left that bird where he lay, but that’s not the point of my story anyway, the point of my story is that the military industrial complex rules us through those little paper matchbooks, not necessarily in the matches themselves, but that little strip of fiberglass isn’t really fiberglass - it’s sandpaper and sandpaper will fuck you up man because it gives off these little fumes that start to kind of float through your cerebellum and make you all loopy like the antichrist or something and its these little fumes that sometimes the government likes to use to encode those subliminal messages about popocorn using the genetically altered corn. And that reminds me, Monsanto is one bitchin’ company man, because they make smart birdseed and smart birdseed is what makes all of those smart birds that you keep seeing on your windshield, except that these aren’t the smart birds that say “eeeiiiinnnn-steeeiiinnn”. No man, these birds say “sophocles” because these birds are greek dude. No shit, they’re greek. Just like Monsanto, but monsanto will never tell you that it’s greek because have you ever seen a genetically engineered olive man? HELL NO. And I’ll tell you why, because olives are smart, dude. Olives know where the shit it and that’s all that matters because if you don’t get your cold-cut trio with olives and extra pickles, why the fuck do you go to subway in the first place? go to blimpy instead and get fried chicken and a large country time lemonade. and THAT is the point.

10

Well, let me just say that I’m all over this “gamma
radiation emmiting nipples”. Now that’s a change I could handle.

11

HalberMensch242,

Is this like a stream of consciousness excerise to get over a creative block? I’ve had to do that before.
I confess I read your post last thing before I went to bed last night. My tiredness added to my overall confusion, and I should not have posted a reply when I was that exhausted. My little comment looks pretty terse this morning. I still don’t understand your rant, but I didn’t mean to be rude to a fellow newbie. I will try to post more thoughtfully from now on.:slight_smile:

12

It’s alright Tabithina…i’m not that sensetive

ignatiusjreilly…great freakin post…made me feel a bit dizzy, but i think that’s the effect a good esoteric rant is supposed to have…“eiiinn-steiin”…indeed

13

This one is a little more tame:

Abstract you want…abs…erect you will get. Wonderfull
erupt silver sway of silver moon touching feathers of
silver liguid drawn gray by a danish crazy leftist
Holistic Mr.Ed, he knew of not what to hay but rather
horse endowed with close minded nihilism for the few
yet arrousing for the masses of ant hills set up arid
sun of Eastern pattern, jeans are for june bugs and
khakis are for my Brother…brother Alex…