estranged father and his passing

wow…i realize i don’t post here often, but i want to share. i have been estranged from my father fot the last 18 years over something stupid and miniscule. my father had a massive stroke (his 2nd) last sunday morning and i was at the hospital on monday. i have lived in sweden for the past 6 years and was not here for his first stroke 3 years ago. we had a major falling out 18 years ago, and have not been in contact since. i think he was concscious enough to know i was there last mondy evening…but by friday, we removed the ventilator and he simply stopped breathing later in the day. this has been an absolutely devastating and mind numbing experience for me…and there is a song i would like to share with anyone who happens to read this and finds themselves in the same boat…it is called “in the living years”

Every generation
Blames the one before
And all of their frustrations
Come beating on your door

I know that I’m a prisoner
To all my Father held so dear
I know that I’m a hostage
To all his hopes and fears
I just wish I could have told him in the living years

Crumpled bits of paper
Filled with imperfect thought
Stilted conversations
I’m afraid that’s all we’ve got

You say you just don’t see it
He says it’s perfect sense
You just can’t get agreement
In this present tense
We all talk a different language
Talking in defence

Say it loud, say it clear
You can listen as well as you hear
It’s too late when we die
To admit we don’t see eye to eye

So we open up a quarrel
Between the present and the past
We only sacrifice the future
It’s the bitterness that lasts

So don’t yield to the fortunes
You sometimes see as fate
It may have a new perspective
On a different day
And if you don’t give up, and don’t give in
You may just be O.K.

Say it loud, say it clear
You can listen as well as you hear
It’s too late when we die
To admit we don’t see eye to eye

I wasn’t there that morning
When my Father passed away
I didn’t get to tell him
All the things I had to say

I think I caught his spirit
Later that same year
I’m sure I heard his echo
In my baby’s new born tears
I just wish I could have told him in the living years

Say it loud, say it clear
You can listen as well as you hear
It’s too late when we die
To admit we don’t see eye to eye …

that’s all, i am sad and sorry and just wanted to share.

i think he knows i was there last monday…i tell myself that. thank you all for listnening.

I’m very sorry for your loss donnah.

I was estranged from my father for almost 25 years when I heard of his death. A family member saw the death notice in the paper, not a nice way to find out. Even though we had not been in touch for so long, which was not my choice btw, I still felt a great sense of loss and was extremely sad for all those lost years.

It was good you had the chance to be with him one last time.