There’s a woman in one of my classes, about two years older than me, who I like and think is very attractive. I know that she at least likes me as a friend - I invited her to come to the broadcast of my radio show sometime, and she said she definately wanted to do so. We also talk pretty often about politics and related subjects - so in short, I don’t need to worry that she considers me to be entirely disagreeable.
I met her last year, and at the time she had a boyfriend she was living with. A fellow I know mentioned that she’s living in a new apartment, which to me suggests that she may no longer be going out with her boyfriend.
So, I have a bit of a dilemma. This woman, if in fact she is “available”, is very unlikely to remain so for long - she’s pretty, smart, kind, and an all-around remarkable person. So from that perspective, it would ill-behoove me to be too timid.
On the other hand, I am naturally timid, and so I lack the nerve to ask her “say, did you break up with your boyfriend over the summer”? And I suspect that such a question would entirely justify a swift kick to the groin. And even if she is single, she may simply be uninterested in a relationship right now.
So, to summarize: I really like this girl. I know she likes me, but not how much, and it’s unlikely she likes me in a romantic way. I do not know if she is single, but it seems like there’s a significant chance.
So, here’s the question: What, if anything, can I ethically do here? Considering that I want to be her friend, even if I can’t be her boyfriend, it would seem the logical thing to do is invite the woman in question to do normal friend things, hang with her and so forth, and under NO circumstances make any sort of move - unless she starts something, of course. I feel that this course of action would be fun (doing things with friends always is) and potentially lead to “bigger and better things”, or at least to information about the possibility of a romantic relationship.
Reading this over, I realize I might sound sort of cold and calculating - I’m not, really, but I am socially inept, and so I’m trying to work this whole thing out as logically as possible. Is my thinking correct? Am I being too cautious? Not cautious enough?