It’s possible that they would. It does seem more likely that what would bring them comfort would be a trial’s very public fundamental statement to the world: that murdering Gabby was not ‘tragic’ or ‘romantic’ or ‘Brian’s and Gabby’s personal business’—no, murdering Gabby was wrong. It was wrong in the sight of the law and it was an act that calls for accountability under the law.
Even more helpful to Gabby’s family might have been a public declaration by Brian that he knew that what he did was wrong. He denied that, too, to them.
That’s right. I’ve appreciated your posts on this subject. I agree that committing suicide should not be romanticized or valorized. In some cases–the existence of uncontrollable, persistent pain, for example–suicide is understandable.
But a cultural tendency to romanticize both murder/suicide and suicide is unfortunate and harmful. We see the romanticizing of suicide in movies such as The Hours (as well as in the novel it’s based on)–the message of the story is that some people are simply too sensitive and noble for this world, and their best course is to kill themselves. I find this message to be both pernicious and regrettable.
And of course the romanticizing and excusing of murder/suicide is everywhere in our culture. “It’s their business” tends to be the excuse; “at least he paid for his act” greets the suicide, who is thereby excused for having committed the slaughter of his (usually) partner.
All possible support should be given to those who feel impelled to suicide: medical, psychological, social—all of it. But it’s important to refrain from telling them that ‘they are doing it to spare others’ and other similar messaging seen in works like The Hours. Telling people that suicide proves they are noble or sensitive or artistic or special, and should be embraced and lauded and praised for killing themselves, is bad and wrong.
A better message: we see that you are in pain and we want to help (for example).