Etiquette of the pickup (and I don't mean truck)

Cafe Society
1

According to Miss Manners, it is not proper etiquette for a gentleman to attempt to “pick up” a lady to whom he has not been properly introduced (nor would a lady stand for such boorish behavior). Of course present day culture tends to be much more lienient, but it got me thinking…

In classical literature (if *Candide *can be considered that) I seem to recall that if a lady wanted to speak with a gentleman whom she did not know (usually with romantic intentions) she was allowed to “accidentally” drop her handkerchief in his general direction. He would pick it up and offer it back, thus giving these two strangers a legitimate reason to become acquainted with one another.

(1) Is this true?

(2) If so, is there a similar maneuver that a gentleman may employ? And I don’t mean a pickup line. Is there an equivalent that would be acceptable by Victorian (or Miss Manners’) etiquette standards? (And yes, I did pose this to Miss Manners, but haven’t yet received her gracious reply.)

2

IMHO The “accidental” excuse is still valid in most instances. Accidentally dropping something (whether it be handkerchief or handbag), accidentally waving at someone though a crowd (not that the waving was accidental, but that the wrong person thought you were waving at them)… the only accidental one that isn’t quite as clear is the accidental bump. If it’s a casual, soft bump, by all means say sorry and strike up a conversation. But an agressive bump or a bump in an innapropriate place (you know where they are) is more likely to offend than encourage conversation.

3

This seems to be a major component to the rituals of smoking.