My Uncle A (who died in 2006 of bleeding on the brain) had an interesting idiosyncrasy. He would pick us up with his wife Sundays to go to a restaurant to eat. And each Sunday, he came progressively earlier and earlier.
He had some serious issues I need not go into. But when we complained, he retorted that when a driver comes to pick someone up, it is the person being picked up who the burden rests on to be ready.
Is that true? If someone comes earlier–earlier than the agreed-on time–is it the their fault for being early, or the other person’s fault for not being on time? (Also, keep in mind we were aware he was going to be earlier each time, the agreed-upon time notwithstanding.)
The agreed upon speaks for itself. It is the time each expects the other to be ready. Etiquette would be that you are ready at the time you agreed to be ready at. You have scheduled yourself to be ready at that time. To expect that person to be ready sooner is unreasonable.
An uncle being early is different from a guy coming early for a first date. I think no problem as long as he is willing to wait until people are ready at the agreed upon time.
At my daughters wedding all the Germans were ready ten minutes ready for everything, and they made fun of the one guy who was just in time. But they couldn’t expect much from him - he was Dutch.
So it depends on your culture.
Sounds like Uncle A was a bit of a fruitcake on this issue. There is something to be said for trying to be ready early, which allows a margin of error for unexpected delays in getting ready, but to insist one MUST be ready early by some undeterminable amount of time is rather silly.
I agree with the uncle that etiquette and/or common sense would be for someone to be ready just a little bit early. That way if there’s a delay, you’re still ready on time. Since the person picking you up is doing you a favor, being ready is a polite way to minimize the inconvenience on them.
However, that’s a little bit early from the agreed-upon time. If he says 9:00, I aim for 8:55. If he’s there at 8:50 the next week, I’m still aiming for 8:55.
My rant is similar to kunilou’s, so I feel justified, even though it’s slightly off-topic.
If you pre-ordered a pizza for 6:30, and show up at 6:15, do not huff and puff that your pizza is not ready.
It is timed to come out of the oven at EXACTLY 6:30. Not early, not late. We’re a well-oiled machine, you’re the idiot who can’t understand what time you ordered the pizza for.
Usually there was a line of people waiting outside. I usu. walked away, and didn’t see exactly what happened. But sometimes there would be a person already in line. Sometimes when I came back, he would be ahead of the person in line. And sometimes not. (I never figured out how he got ahead of the person in line those days that that happened.)
How can it possibly be efficient to be early for things? That ensures you have to waste the time between when you arrive and the start of the appointment. Time you could have used efficiently on whatever was your previous activity before stopping and traveling to this activity.
I can easily see it offending your German *punctuality *gene though.
The OP’s uncle was a nutcase. I would have ensured I was ready 5 minutes prior to the scheduled time and also ensured we never left my place any earlier than that no matter how many hours or days before then Uncle TimeAndCourtesyChallenged had chosen to arrive.
