Eve Channels Janis Joplin

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I’d like to do a song of great social and political import. It goes like this:

Oh, Lord, won’t you bite me, Mercedes-Benz!
I hate your ad campaign, I hope that it ends.
It serves to remind me of your Nazi friends—
So, Lord, won’t you bite me, Mercedes-Benz.

Oh, Lord, won’t you bite me, you “Bad Andy” creep.
I won’t buy your pizzas, so go take a leap!
The vet-er-a-narian should put you to sleep—
So, Lord, won’t you bite me, you “Bad Andy” creep.

Oh, Lord, won’t you bite me, cute Pepsi girl.
I hate both your dimples, I hate every curl!
Each time that you pipe up, I just want to hurl—
So, Lord, won’t you bite me, cute Pepsi girl.

Everybody!

Oh, Lord, won’t you bite me, Mercedes-Benz!
I hate your ad campaign, I hope that it ends!
It serves to remind me of your Nazi friends—
So, Lord, won’t you bite me, Mer-ced-es-Benz.

That’s it—ha, ha!

2

<wild applause>

Does this mean you’re going to start drinking massive amounts of tequila?

3

And claim your greatest accomplishment in life to be sleeping with Jim Morrison?

4

Inspiring!!!

Very Nice, Eve!

5

Encore!!! Encore!!!

6

:::standing up, holding lit Bic lighter:::

Eve! Eve! Eve! Eve!

7

[Lovey Howell voice] Verry, verry nice, my dear! I’ve always preferred a Rolls, myself, you know. [end Lovey Howell voice]

8

I’d pay damn good money to see Eve/Janis in concert.

9

<presenting Eve a bouquet of roses>
Truly inspired! Magnifique! And at the risk of being overly gushy, that was really really neat! Just what my Monday morning needed…

10

Puh-Leeze. Any Janis lover will tell you: Her drink of choice was Southern Comfort, and she never slept with Jim Morrison. In fact, when he grabbed her head and forced it into his crotch one night, she conked him on the noggin with a bottle.

But Eve, that was brilliant. Thank you.

11

“In fact, when he grabbed her head and forced it into his crotch one night, she conked him on the noggin with a bottle.”

—Funny; the same thing happened with Manhattan and I at the last SDMB get-together . . .