Yes, I know the typo I made. URggh.
[quote=“LurkerInNJ, post:16, topic:512176”]
She’s into metaphysical stuff, you aren’t. She can believe she is half elf if she wants. Do you think this excuses your behavior? It doesn’t.
They handled the situation a hell of a lot better than you did.
How big of you.
Am I the only one seeing the irony here?
If she’s hot I’ll listen to ALMOST any amount of crap. Last week I pretended to be interested in hearing about the Amero. It takes too much energy to dispel every bit of nonsense you come against anyway. You have to choose your battles.
I try not to correct my friends and family members in an outright way, but at work I will almost always call out a coworker on their work-related ignorance, but not their personal ignorance. I work in the medical field and myths, urban legends, and outright bullshit can have dire consequences, or just make your office look incompetent.
The other day an LPN and an MA were discussing their food allergies- like, you know, how when you eat something that makes you throw up. I did correct them and explain that vomiting is not an actual allergy, although may be a “sensitivity”, and that true allergic reactions cause a histamine response, with respiratory and skin dysfunction. They both just looked at me like, duh… Oh well, I did try.
And while I’m not a metaphysicist, you do have to admit that all of your doings first started as a thought- an intention. She is partly right, actually- a good deal of life comes from intention, either conscious or not.
I’m not saying it’s impolite (although there may be situations where it is – I haven’t run through all the scenarios in my head.) It just ain’t worth it a lot of the time. For important issues, sure, argue away if you feel like it. But for minor bullshit like Tarot cards, ghosts, and the like, it’s usually not worth it. I find it far more interesting in building my own knowledge base to humor people in their beliefs and probing them about them. Even with the Holocaust denier, rather than argue with him, I was more interested in trying to understand where he was coming from and how an otherwise affable, intelligent, 60-something erudite gentleman with an uncanny resemblance to Captain Kangaroo can arrive at such conclusions. For me, it’s an interesting character study, and helps me with my understanding of the greater world and all the kinds of people in it.
Okay, here’s the set up;
My husband and his bonehead friends are hanging at the bar. And they’re doing the drinking and commiserating thing, they’ve had a few now and are in the process of getting somewhat lathered up. They are all on the same side, just so you know. No grey area for them, in this.
The issue is divorce. A friend of theirs, not present, but whom we all know - well. He’s a prominent business man in town, owning a large car dealership which his Dad started a generation ago. The family also has a lot of ‘old money’, as they say. He’s been married about 5-7yrs they have one small child. A divorce is eminent and she’s hired a rabid lawyer who threatens to take him for everything he has, including half of the business. I think you get the picture, the lathering was well on, by the time I arrived.
I come on the scene and am hoping to move along and leave the hammerheaded friends in the dust. But no, they are, none of them, apparently going to be satisfied unless they can enlist me onto their side, garner my agreement.
Honestly, I wasn’t invested in any way in this stupid tirade they had worked up. So I did what I thought was wise, kept my mouth shut, hoping to move along and, y’know, not get mired in the stupidness. But no, it wasn’t meant to be.
I bit my lip and let them go on and on, but they wouldn’t leave it alone, they just kept hammering away. That horrible bitch, she’s all about the money, poor M, she shouldn’t have any entitlement to the business his family built even though he owned it during their marriage, no seriously, though, you agree, right?..blah, blah, blah,… you get the picture.
I swear to you, as God is my witness, I did my level best to not get sucked in. Truly I did. But finally I couldn’t take it any longer. (My husband warned them, ‘she’s gonna blow, step back hammerheads’!)
I went behind the bar, made them all lean in, spoke in even soft tones, “Listen to me hammerheads, I’m only going to say this once, and only because you pressed me. Every single one of you, and I, watched this man woo this woman. We both know how he did it because it was easy for everyone with eyes to see. He wore his $800 suit, picked her up in his Mercedes, wined her and dined her in the finest restaurants, took her on expensive holidays, bought her expensive gifts. She was not easy to catch and, up until the rabid lawyer, he was pretty happy with his efforts, as were all of you. And now you are all up in arms to discover she’s ‘all about the money’. What are you hammerheads freaking psychic now?” And you know what else? Every single one of you knows what I’m saying is the God’s honest truth."
During the stunned silence that ensued, (you should have seen the look on their faces!), I quickly hustle up my bonehead and, after a quick wave, head for the door. By the time we get across the bar to the door, they have gathered themselves a little. As I open the door I hear one of them shout, “Y’know, this is why we like the bonehead better than you!”
(Yeah, I know, I didn’t actually ‘call bullshit’, as in use the word, but still.)
I ended up sleeping with a woman after a second date filled with discussion of biblical teachings. Never occurred to her somone so familiar with the words of “our lord and savior” could possibly be an athiest.
When it comes to total and complete utter ignorance–yes, I’ll call people on it from time to time. For the most part, I try to do this in a non-confrontational and non-know-it-all way. For the most part. One notable exception being this:
A good friend of mine, a few years back, was dating an incredibly obnoxious knows-everything-but-is-actually-dumber-than-a-box-of-rocks type, who we’ll call Gary (because that’s his name). He and I did not like each other, but for the sake of said friend, I tried to tolerate him…this usually meant just ignoring him, which worked pretty well. He was not happy with the status quo, though, and, one night, at a party, he apparently decided to have a showdown.I’m a graduate student in clinical psychology, specializing in human sexuality. For whatever reason, he decides this is the very topic with which he will “challenge” me. He says, in his this cocky, smarmy-ass way, “did you know [insert figure of greater than 1 in 100] of women are born without a vagina?”
Trying to not engage him, I replied as neutrally as possible to this stupidness: “If you’re referring to females being born with a full or partial occlusion over the vaginal opening, yeah, I’ve heard of that. Why?”
“Don’t you think that’s gross?” (By now, at the cue of the word vagina, the whole room is tuned in to the conversation as we go back and forth).
I say, “Not really. If anything, I’d find it fascinating, but it’s not even that fascinating compared with different intersex conditions or women who are born with bifurcations and they don’t know about it until way later, or–”
At which point, he cuts me off, and says, still, as if I’m a moron, “Hell yeah, it’s gross. It’s like you’re not even a real woman.”
At this point, I was beginning to find him offensive as well as annoying, since sex/gender/sexuality is something I am extremely open-minded about and do not tolerate much bigotry. “Whoa. So, you’re saying that a little slip of extra skin–which is easily corrected at birth, as in, snip, snip, determines whether or not you’re female? These kids were born with otherwise completely normal internal and external female genitalia? They’re capable of having children? How are they not “real women?” Especially if this condition is as common as you claim it is, which it isn’t, and especially if you can’t tell after the corrective surgery is done? What if you found out your gf was born that way? Would have have been sleeping with a non-woman this whole time?”
By now, he realizes a) that he’s pissed me off and b) that he is on his way to losing the argument and looking like a jackass. He flounders, then this look comes into his face like, I-know-a-trick-worth-two-of-those, and says, “Yeah, whatever, it’s still gross, though. HOW WOULD YOU PEE?” He actually crosses his arms in front of his chest, leans back in his chair, and basically looks like he just hit an ace.
I’m flabbergasted. “GIRLS DON’T. PEE. OUT OF THEIR VAGINAS.”
Not remotely deterred (as if he knows all about them, and I don’t, despite having had one for all these years), Gary says, “Riiiiiight. Then where do you pee from?”
After a split second of open-mouthed shock, I start with, “The urethra. Which is above the vaginal opening–” then cut myself off, say, “You know what, don’t even worry about it,” and leave the room.
I was told afterward that once I was gone, he looked around the room, sage-like, and said something to the effect of, “Didn’t know what she was talking about. Chicks totally pee out of their vaginas.”
You said yourself they’re intelligent. As such, they know that if they stick up for you, that won’t get the chance to possibly stick it up her…and obviously, they’d rather nail the psycho. :shrug:
I know, right? 
I agree that hearing bullshit is irritating, especially when it can be proved wrong.
However my philosophy is to consider **what I want to achieve **and that means considering the social situation, the state of mind of the other person and whether they are drunk etc.
So if I’m at a party and a hot girl (who is sleeping with a friend of mine) says something silly, I’d try to break it to her gently.
For starters, the friend is going to side with her. (I know I would - I’m not giving up great sex just to agree with somebody!)
And turning it into a screaming match means I’m not enjoying the party.
A recent example came at work during lunchtime. A stroppy colleague made a wild claim.
I dug up the facts on the Internet and calmly mentioned the refutation. He said I wouldn’t change his mind no matter what. :smack:
So I said OK, let’s leave it there … and surfed the Dope instead.
(I don’t want a grumpy atmosphere at work.)
Nope, and it is not the first time.
I tend to leave these types of conversations, in case the stupid is contagious. If the speaker insists on following or continuing, I’ll say just that.
See, part of the problem is you were talking to her *while *she was having sex with your friend. That’s just…bad form.
Usually it’s just not worth it to me. It’s generally more important to me to be socially aware than to be right. I’ll only call BS in the case of someone like the guy that Orange Skinner was talking about. That’s too good to pass up.
Years ago a friend at a small gathering told the story of the woman who named her kids Orangello and Lemongello. I jumped all over it to debunk it. All I proved was that I acted like a self-important jackass who can kill the buzz of a whole room in about two seconds. Never again.
And I would bet that there is some truth to the whole intention thing. Either the girl didn’t fully understand it, or the OP didn’t.
Well there was the time when my ex-husband told me an elaborate story about how the catalytic converter was developed by Caddilac and that’s why it was called a “caddilitic” converter. I pointed out to him that the word catalytic comes from the root word catalyst and doesn’t have anything to do with the car company. He screamed at me and started a fight about how I always argue with him. Well, yeah, when he’s making shit up. :rolleyes:
That marriage didn’t last long.
The other day my friend was over and we were having a discussion about why there don’t seem to be good bakeries in Florida and why the bread that is created here isn’t the same as NY or Italy. She said it’s the water. I said that I’d heard that was just an urban legend. She swore it was true and without the actual facts to back me up, I let it drop. But in cases like that I would usually gently recommend a web site or some reading material if it exists to give the person another possible view point.
Mostly, if it’s some crazy metaphysical belief system then I let it slide. You want to think that Jesus saved you from swine flu, more power to you. You want to believe that you have the power to extinguish street lights, I’m happy for you.
But if you’re spreading disinformation that may put someone in danger then I’m going to have to strenuously object and I might not be as tactful about it.
He wasn’t simply speaking up. He got into a screaming fight at a party. Big difference.
It’s taking longer than we thought.
OF COURSE he knows more about female urination than an actual female. And I feel very, very sorry for any woman that he has sex with. It’s a pity you didn’t have access to an anatomy book, as you could have introduced him to a whole new concept. The concept of “looking things up”.
What’s it like to work with Starving Artist?
I’m not sure, but it’s possible that she started screaming at him in response to his countering her claims, and, when screamed at, he responded in turn. I think it’s perfectly acceptable (though maybe not the most worthwhile of activities in terms of return on investment) to call someone on it when they spout out some bullshit. If that person starts screaming or being insulting in response to your disagreeing with them or questioning their logic, (that is, THEY try to escalate things to a screaming match kind of level), the smartest thing to do is probably just leave. But it’s totally understandable if one is unable to turn the other cheek, and feels the need to scream/insult them back first, and then leave. I mean, we’re only human. If something like this is the case, I don’t think the OP did anything wrong.
Now, if he’d just gone raging in there with, “YOU’RE A FUCKING BATSHIT PSYCHO MORON,” rather than trying to explain why he thought she was full of shit, I’d agree. But I don’t think it sounds that way from the OP.
According to the girlfriend (who, thank God, eventually wised up and dumped him), he was able to coast along for a while on moderate endowment and stamina, but other than that, it was pretty much the kind of sex life you’d expect given the sex-wizardry discussed above…even AFTER she explained what a clitoris was, how it worked, and to what it is analogous. Repeatedly.
I (unfortunately) went to high school with him, so I know he’d been exposed to the concept before. Probably wouldn’t have stuck the second time around, either. But plopping down on the couch next to him with a laser pointer and a full-color illustration of the female urinary tract/reproductive system would have been awesome (especially if it were one of those books with the transparent overlays and pop-up paper organs). A missed opportunity, indeed…
And we don’t know the answer to that. My guess is that it was probably mutual escalation, but that’s only a guess.
And a lot depends on how the OP phrased his objections. We don’t know what happened during [extended arguing]. But there’s a big difference between objecting by saying “That’s interesting, but…” and “That’s bullshit.” Even given the conversation as exactly stated, the OP’s intention (ha!) probably impled one or the other.