I think a reason people cheat is that they think the “honeymoon phase” will last forever and then they don’t feel so close and look elsewhere. It could also involve the “Coolidge Effect”
My wife says she’ll never cheat on me and said that if I kissed someone it wouldn’t be as bad as having sex with someone else.
I think it would be a stupid idea for me to cheat… I rarely ever can get an erection with a mental or visual stimulus - I usually need my wife to give me a hand job which she is very happy to give. If I cheated I’d risk missing out on that.
If you don’t want to admit to cheating or thinking about cheating you could talk about a “friend” you know.
In my twenties, I had a stripper GF, my attitude back then was, if she’s going to be shaking her ass in front of strange men, then I’m going to hook up with whoever I want.
Technically, we had an “open” relationship. But the fact was we were both too immature to handle said relationship. Jealousy was a major problem for us. (As were head games)
No. I hold myself to a strict moral code, and I know I’m more than capable of waiting to start a sexual/romantic relationship with another person until I have ended a monogamous relationship I am unhappy in.
I’m not super judgmental about other people doing it, though. There are so many circumstances that can contribute to people violating the boundaries of a relationship that is agreed to be exclusive. Not all of them are equal betrayals of trust, and everyone makes mistakes.
Yes, on my first BF. We were together about a year and it wasn’t good. Turned out we had little in common, plus he worked out of town a lot. I slept around and eventually decided it was time to just break things off for good.
No, i am not in a relationship unless i really want to be. I imagine cheating is more common in people who see being in a relationship as the “default” state, so they stay in shitty ones until someone new comes along.
To get very technical, I guess I did once. But the most dishonest part was calling it a relationship because it really wasn’t. We hadn’t bothered to break up yet I guess, and even before that it was never exactly a real relationship. I really don’t know wtf we were doing. So anyway, then I was hanging out with my friend and her special friend and his cousin was there and, well, I was 20 and brand new to drinking and hadn’t yet perfected the art of drinking without being a ho.
Other than that, nope. Never wanted to. If I want to be with someone then I have no desire to bone someone else, and if I don’t want to be with them, I end it.
Other than the fact that it’s a shitty thing to do, I’ll never understand why someone would want the hassle of cheating and then trying to hide it. I would rather be told they want out than be cheated on. I would also tell them instead of putting myself in that position(so to speak).
First marriage lasted 20 years. I had a 10 year stretch where I was cheating. It was either cheat or leave. We came from different cultural backgrounds and I felt more like a meal ticket than a husband. Sex was great but the emotional part is that drove me out. And yes I felt horrible guilt but not bad enough to stop. I have not cheated since that marriage ended.
Well, sort of, once, in a previous relationship. I was living in NYC at the time, and my birthday was on a Sunday that year. Friday night my BF gave me my gift, explaining that he was going out of town for the weekend. I asked him why, and he answered that there was no reason, he just wanted to be away from the city. I asked him where he was going, and he said he would visit a friend of his in another state. None of this made sense to me, and every time I asked a question, the BF was getting more and more irritated. I especially couldn’t understand why he had to leave this weekend, and not another. Birthdays were never very important to me, but I was looking forward to sharing it with him. And, to me, he really didn’t have a good reason to be out of town. The more I thought about it, I was really starting to get angry at his self-centeredness, especially since there was definitely a pattern with that. He really wasn’t very good at ever putting anyone else’s feelings above his own, and that was getting me really pissed off. And yes, I knew I was doing the same thing, by putting my feelings above his.
Anyway . . . he left, and I was glad to see him go. By Saturday I was getting more and more pissed, so that evening I went out to a neighborhood bar and met a guy who was a pastry chef. Of course I told him the reason for being alone that night, so he invited me back to his place, where he baked a beautiful birthday cake for me, plus some silly gifts.
We never did get around to having sex, but we did sleep together. Oh, and the BF and I broke up a few months later.
Did have a very long distance relationship for about 2 years (and we saw each other about 3 times in those pre-internet days), but I’m not sure that really counts.
Nope. My wife is my best friend, to cheat on her would mean that she was getting screwed over by the one person in the world who is supposed to have her back no matter what.