ok, this is the lamest possible ‘going off the deep end’ imaginable, but let me explain and then you can all laugh at my lameness.
So Dangergene and the young master (the spawn of Dangergene) are out a-shopping on saturday evening and we get stuck behind a trio of not-fat, not-old lady-folks. Now, whilst the fat/old things aren’t relevant normally, in this case they are. Y’see, these ladies were ambling along in the most mind-numbingly irritating fashion. Stopping and starting and just being damn SLOW!!! And somehow they managed to block not just the aisles, but also the wide-open bits. We were trapp-ed and their brake lights weren’t working! (which is understandable, cos were we inside a mall and everyone was on foot, but still, bear with me) Several *‘excuse me’*s and whatnot failed to get them to move. So eventually we get to the top of the down-scalator (that’s an escalator that goes down) and the ladies STOP. DEAD. They’d been moving so slowly that we found ourselves very close behind them (in our efforts to pass them and make our appointment which we were now late for). Again, none of this would be relevant, except the young master was in his stroller. And when Lady #slow stopped well… we didn’t. And we clipped the back of her ankle ever so lightly.
Wohoooo! you’d think I’d broadsided her in a Semi, given the outpouring of, ‘oooh, oooooow’ etc. Twas a very FamilyGuy response.
Well, here’s my HunterS-style response.
I didn’t say sorry!
yup, that’s right. At that very instant I allowed civilised societal norms to break down. I narrowed my eyes and shook my head slowly.
Then we got on the escalator and high-tailed it out of there!
Now, I know what you’re saying, ‘how can such a bad-boy even be allowed on these boards?’. and I know, lo they shall sing songs of my wild-life on the narrow margins outside of society. I shall be immortalised as the baddest (read:lamest) outlaw of them all.
worst part of all, I didn’t even mean to hit her, cos I know that hurts! But DAMN, get out of the goddamn way, PLEASE!!!
ok… you can laugh now