Sometimes, I’ll be at work or driving somewhere, and I’ll get these quick little urges, almost fantasies (Anyone comparing me to Ally McBeal will be shovel smacked.
Sometimes, I just want to scream at the top of my lungs. This happens a lot at work.
You know that dream where you realize you’re nekkid? A couple of times I’ve imagined stripping in public, just to see how long it would take for someone to call the cops.
To paraphrase George Carlin, sometimes when I’m stuck behind a slow driver, I want to ram his car into third gear.
The ball pit at kiddy playgrounds (Like the ones in McDonalds) call to me.
When I’m on the phone, and someone walks up and talks to me, I have the urge to yell “Do you see this? Do you know what it is? The next time you interrupt me while I’m on the phone I’m going to tap you lightly on the forehead with it. By “Tap lighty”, I mean I’ll crack your thick skull with it.” Of course, I never do this. Being nice sucks sometimes.
Sometimes at resturants, especially nice ones, I want to start a food fight.
When I see some double or even triple parked (Not too hard to do with the extra big pickup trucks), I want to work their car/truck/SUV over with a tire iron. Then take a nice healthy dump on the windshield. I get a simular urge with slow drivers in the fast lane.
Some urges, like dancing on the stage or raised speakers at a club (Sober, no less), I’ve done. Most of my little urges, like the ones listed above, I’d never really do.
But they’re fun to imagine.
