I have fantasys about dropping a cinderblock onto the roof of my inconsiderate neighbor’s car from my second floor balcony.
Stupid laws…
When anyone smokes a cigar near me, I want
to grab it and shove it up his ass.
I also resist the urge to pat the stomaches
of obviously pregnant women. I know everyone
does it, but to me it seems the height of
unthinkable rudeness.
When you’re on the phone and people start
in with the intercom. I’m not answering
you, go away.
Now my urges seem a lot more bizarre than other peoples now that I have heard yours.
I think about fire alarms and building jumping a lot. But I also think about things such as "How difficult would it be to / would I get caught if I…
tried to assassinate someone?" (Got that thought at the Sixth Floor Museum in Texas.)
rob a bank?"
hijack a plane, car, bus, train, etc.?"
Then again, I have normal urges too. The ones you mentioned before about breaking pottery always sounded fun.
On a side note: I only have my learners permit, and I am somewhat scared to get my license now that so many of you mention that your urge is to veer into the oncoming lane. It’s a good thing I tend to stay on the outer lane of traffic.
BTW, I am sorry in advance that I go the speed limit and that I wait about 1-2 seconds after the light turns green to go. Please, please don’t hunt me down.
When I’m in a smallish space with other people (such as an elevator or conference room), I get the urge to just kick as much ass as I can before I get taken down.
When I’m walking about and I see a large and dangerous, but potentially possible jump, I have the urge to try to clear it. You know, the ten foot length of the sidewalk that’s ripped out with a barricade in front. I’ve actually done this one, but tripped up on the landing and scraped my hands up pretty bad. It was worth it.
I have many, many evil urges throughout a typical work day. I work in a hospital and chart on patients all day long. Usually, at least 2 or 3 times a day, I get the chart pried out of my hands by some snotty doctor who needs the chart “right now”. Right when I’m in the middle of reviewing it/writing a note. I want to tell off every doctor that does it to me. The urge is even stronger when its an intern taking the chart from me. I want to tell them that I’m busy too, and I have patients to finish just like you do, yet I get paid CRAP and think just as much as you do during the day, so get the fuck off my chart, dick. Then I smack them over the head with the chart repeatedly. The same scenario applies to when they steal my seat and work area, when its so apparently obvious that someone was sitting there (stuff all spread out, open chart, calculator and pens out) before they sat their ass down.
I have had those urges to pull my car out in front of oncoming traffic, and also to stand up on the table at lunch and just take my clothes off, just to see what would happen.
The thought of Mexican jail for even minor traffic accidents makes many people take the bus to Tijuana.
I’m another one of those “put me in a high place and I’ll think about jumping” people. This became clear to me at the Eiffel Tower, where there is a wire barrier on the lower part of the second level to keep people who are waiting for the elevators from jumping (probably out of frustration). I was standing there waiting, and all of a sudden, I thought, “Hey. I could clear that. All I’d need would be for someone to give me a boost onto this railing, and oh yeah - I could make it. Easy.” That was frightening.
I also have this urge to run up onto the stage during concerts and tackle the lead singer so I can take a shot at the song. Not that they do a bad job - I just want my shot at Ultimate Karaoke.
I always do the jumping thing, too. I’m seriously afraid one day I’ll just do it.
What’s the fastest everyone here’s driven? C’mon, share, even if it’s something stupid like 83 or 96.
–Tim
Well, besides the revenge on stupid/obnoxious people ones, I have two:
To break fragile things
To shoplift/take things that catch my eye
I would never do either one on purpose. It’s just a random thought that comes occasionally. As far as the breaking things goes, even though the sound of glass breaking causes me great pain, it sometimes brings a bit of satisfaction and release as well. But I don’t break things on purpose.
Trouble, you hit on another one of mine - the “breaking fragile things” one. That urge hit me in a Venetian glass shop while looking at some ugly monster of a vase. Then I realized that I don’t speak enough Italian to say that it was an accident.
Whoo hoo! And I just spent an evening drinking with four of the posters on this thread!
Excellent restraint, people!
The one urge that I’d like to get over (because I often succumb) is holding my fingers up in a V behind the head of someone else in a group photo. How’s that for living dangerously?
OH! I have one! Whenever I’m standing close to a police officer I have this STRONG urge to grab his gun out of he holster while at the same time applying a choke hold and holding him hostage while I alternatly point the gun at his head and at people standing around. Ala the movies. Just to see if I can. In the end I’d let him go and we would all have a good laugh over it.
…and NO I dont have anything against police officers.
Ya know, I can’t help but notice the number of women who posted to say that they sometimes get the urge to just remove all of(or at least part of) their clothes in public. I really doubt that too many guys would complain if this urge became less, um, repressed…
As far as I go it’s pretty much the standard ones, though. The sudden irrational urge to break something/steal something/go really fast/jump off somewhere high are all relatively common. Also sometimes the sudden urge to just give people hugs (not just women.) Luckily I’m expert at ignoring these sorts of things. Well, ok, other than the speeding one.
To break things, hurt someone, jump off a building, all seem to be pretty common,.
At work-I ALWAYS want to throw a temper tantrum…to throw myself down on the floor kicking and screaming, throw things, etc.
Hit customers…
::ahem:: With my nifty learner’s permit I’ve topped 53 miles an hour. Hehehe.
Don’t worry, I haven’t even been on the interstate yet. But when I do, prepare to honk.
I always fight with myself when it would be easier to take off without filing a flightplan. Usually I’m in a hurry because of pending nightfall or a storm front, but that’s exactly the wrong time to be out of contact, so I have never done it.
I also have the urge to hug people. Totally random people, as well. The thing is I’m not a very hugging person, so it would seem odd if I did that with my friends. Some day, though, I’ll give in, just to satisfy myself.
And of course all of the breaking/jumping/etc. I think I’ll buy some cheap glass stuff to break someday.
Ahh, yes, breaking glass…
I forgot about one I think of at least once a month. No jail time for this one, but…
I’d like to eat at a restaurant, leave adequate money on the table after the bill comes, but jump up, knocking our chairs over, snatching our coats, purses, etc, and break for the door at a mad gallop AS IF we were trying to run out on the bill. I’d like to see the waitstaff stare at us, stunned, for a moment, before breaking into a run to come grab us. When they caught us (assuming they didn’t hurt me too bad in the flying tackle), I’d smugly tell them we PAID the bill! Then maybe stalk back over to our table and say “But I’m definitely cutting the tip NOW!” and angrily snatch back a couple singles from the pile, wipe my bloody nose with great dignity, and walk out.
I want to do this SOOOOOO bad. I can’t explain why.
I have such urges often. One that still makes me chuckle happened as follows.
I was in “Elemental Political Theory” class in college. Normally, I sat near the back exit, so I could sneak out if the class was too boring, but this time I had come in late and was only able to find a seat far away from the back door, so I was trapped. About an hour into the class, I was in a drooling daze, half asleep and absolutely dying to get out of there.
A thought struck me: animals, caught in leg traps, would chew through their limb in order to escape. Maybe I could do the same. I actually visualized myself standing up, holding up my bloody stump, and saying “Professor, I’ve gnawed through my arm. May I please be excused?” The people around me could not understand the giggle fit I had the rest of the class, and I was not about to explain.
Sua
I have a couple:
When I am driving in a construction zone and they have those orange barrels or cones along the side of the road, I have the strongest urge to drift over and start hitting every one - thwump, thwump, thwump. This one is very hard to resist.
When I see someone bent over in public, I have the overwhelming urge to kick them in the ass.
And of course I am constantly resisting the urge to touch the breasts of just about every woman I see.