Heh, that’s exactly what I always say to those people! “I’ve just been diagnosed with terminal cancer and have 4 weeks to live.”
It’s assholish of me to do it, but it *really *irritates me when people say that.
I get it all the time. Just happened to me a couple weeks ago, actually. I never say anything in response, and I always kick myself for that. Because if someone needs to be shamed in public,it’s these self-centered doofus clowns. They are too dumb to know that they are being offensive and presumptuous (that’s my theory…but maybe that’s too charitable), and ignoring them just let’s them keep on thinking that it’s their place to tell other people what to do with their faces. But I’m always so taken aback when I’m presented with such gall, that I can’t spit out the proper retort.
Generally, I’m an amazingly laid-back person. I’m indifferent towards the dumb drivers that people rant about all the time, I could care less if people steal extra Coke out of the fountain machine, and even people with their carts in the middle of the grocery aisle fail to raise my pulse. But tell me to smile and you don’t know me? That shit is enough to make me hulk out inside.
Yes. He is in the dumpster out back.
I was having a perfectly fine day. Waiting on customers, friendly, but not retard-happy. Some bitch asked me “Who shit in your Cheerios?” I was pretty pissed - If you were to see me unhappy, that might be a valid comment. But I am ALWAYS businesslike, at WORST, at work. NEVER unpleasant. I wanted to stab her in the eye.
ETA : Yeah, yeah, sorry about the “retard-happy.” Flame if you will.
Joe
I’ll smile at them, yes: like a grimace, lips pulled back as far as possible, teeth gritted, eyes as wide and fixed as possible…basically think florid psychosis or cyanide poisoning.
Because usually, when I get it, I’m ALWAYS in the lower intestine of a Major Depressive episode, and, y’know, I’m out of bed and functional, that’s giving it 100% on days like that, really, so go be freaking cheery somewhere else.
Had it happen in college, 1964. Lady serving up the chow…“hey, it can’t be that bad.” Whaaaaaaat? “You look so sad.”
I’m not, that’s just the way my face works.
No, it never happens to me. I’m one of those smiley people. I would never tell anyone else to smile; how nosy.
Happens to me a lot. My usual answer is ‘no’.
No. I did have someone walk up to me in the B terminal at Dulles Airport and say, “Did you know you just walked out of the women’s bathroom? HA! Made you look!” (I’m female)
His object might have been to get me to smile. Instead, I was very annoyed, thought he was a giant creep, and moved away as fast as possible.
My “I’m concentrating/thinking really hard” look apparently looks like a frown, because when I am thinking, or concentrating, I do get this quite a bit. Kind of annoying really, imho, akin to patting a pregnant woman’s belly (not quite as intrusive of course).
Who are you, and myobw about my mouth’s mechanics thankyouverymuch!
I get it a lot and my standard answer for years has been, “I am fucking smiling.”
The last time I saw the Rolling Stones, on the Bridges to Babylon tour…I was tired and not in a great mood, my back was hurting, it was cold and raining (this being an open-air show, of course), and I must have looked miserable sitting there waiting for the main attraction. Some guy walking past me said “Smile, man, it’s a rock & roll concert!”
Damned if the rain didn’t stop the minute the Stones took the stage (Keith Richards stepped up to a microphone, looked at the sky and said “We’ve got a deal, right?”), and everybody stood up, which I discovered was much more comfortable for my back than sitting on that little folding chair, and I had a GREAT time.
(The rain didn’t start up again until the Stones were finishing their encore. Do those dudes have connections or what?)
Yeah, I used to get it all the time as a gothy teen/twenty something. From men.
As a heavily preggers thirtysomething? Not once!
I remember one specific time I heard it, during an angsty time in my previous relationship. I spent weeks in a dark mood. I felt like stabbing the guy, but instead I bared my teeth in a perfunctory gesture and went about my business.
I think many times people have a legitimate reason to not be smiling, so people who tell me to smile can fuck off.
I’ve not only gotten “Smile! It might never happen!” when it had already happened; but I’ve also gotten “Smile! Jesus loves you!” when we all know he died 2000 years ago, in a rather graphically painful way, and whatever he’s doing now, absorbed as he is in the atoms of the Middle Eastern desert, is completely useless to me.
I’ve gotten it once or twice from smartass twentysomethings: a bunch of guys walks past, one says “Dude, smile!”, and they all laugh. It’s annoying, but what can you do?
I’ve been kicked in the crotch and punched on a breast and the second one hurt a lot more, just sayin’. The first one was surprising but didn’t score beyond a 2 on my personal pain scale (from 1 to 10, with 10 being when you faint from the pain).
The other day I was waiting for the bus and someone told a girl (a college student judging by what she was carrying) to smile. Her answer “why, has unemployment gone down? Did the cure of cancer get discovered? It’s 8 in the damned morning, my smile hasn’t had coffee yet.”
Once I was on the elevator at work, in the middle of havin a really shitty day, I can’t remember why. Some unnaturally cheerful mailroom guy from another company got on the elevator and started telling me “it could be worse! Some guys come back from Iraq without their legs!” As if becoming a paraplegic was the only acceptable reason for not smiling. I wanted to punch him.
My natural expression resembles Abe Vigoda’s. If someone tells me to smile, I’ll shoot them a grimace and mumble under my breath. Not actual words, but something like “Rowrbazzlrackenfracken.”. I might even blow a little raspberry for good measure. I’m not gloomy or in a bad mood. I’m just minding my own business, intent on where I’m going and what I need to do. I wish everybody else would just mind their own business and all would be well. If you want me to smile, come watch Futurama with me. Otherwise, don’t worry about it.
The thing is, I really do smile, a lot. All the freakin time! But the few times I am not, my lips are full and heavy and fall naturally into a small pout. I don’t mean this, just when I am distracted and not paying attention it happens. And yes, people have told me to “smile!” which annoys the piss out of me, too.
It doesn’t happen anymore. Like others have said, once I reached my thirties things started falling into place and I am much more confident and assertive now. People don’t lecture me like a child much at all anymore.