Ever have a complete stranger tell you to smile?

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
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I was hoping someone would admit to being one of these people. Darn.

Yes, it happens all the time, indirectly or directly. By directly, I mean what everyone else has said. “It’s not that bad! Smile!” or “You’d look so much better if you’d smile just a little!” After a long day of work, I got on a bus and the bus driver took the liberty of touching my forehead and telling me “smooth out those lines”. I keep my brow crunch up like that constantly. So telling me to smooth it out requires me to actually think about which muscle groups need to be coordinated (plus, she had no right to touch me like that, but whatever).

By indirectly, I’ve had people come up to me and say “What’s wrong?” There’s this one co-worker who seems to enjoy coming to my office and telling me, no matter what time of day it is, how “tired” I look, even when I’m primed up with energy and feeling great. And the thing is, SHE’S the one who always looks tired, with a face that’s to’ up from the flo’ up. But of course, because she’s not a stranger and I want to keep the peace, I just say, “I’m actually feeling fine today, but thanks for your concern.” But it peeves me out.

Another time, I was once riding an elevator and a jerk of a co-worker (who’s been written up for sexual harassment before) was in there with me, and he exclaimed, “Damn, you look sick! How much more weight are you going to lose!” I was so flabbergasted (didn’t even know I had lost all that much weight) all I could say was that I wasn’t sick, I just walk a lot. But I kept thinking, “What if I WAS sick, like with terminal cancer? What an inconsiderate thing to say to someone!”

If you’re very close to someone, then you’re in the “zone” to be able to negatively comment on someone’s looks, and even then it better be pretty damn tactful. But if you’re just another face on the office floor, I don’t want hear a damn thing out of you about my looks except for maybe, “Girl, you got it going on today!” Telling me I look tired when I don’t feel tired is just going to make me feel weird, at best, and make me feel childishly defensive at worse (“I might look tired, but at least I’m not UGLY like you are!”)

62

I’ve had it happen once or twice. I just give them the puzzled “do I know you?” look, and keep going with whatever I’m doing.

The thing I get a lot is being told out of the blue that I should donate my hair to Locks Of Love, or “those cancer kids” (I’ve heard that one way too many times!). I have thick butt-length hair that’s usually worn braided or just loose down my back. I’ve had so many people just come up to me and tell me I should donate it, like I’ve never heard of that organization before. When I thank them and try to move on, more often than not I get at least a look and sometimes a word that tells me they think I’m terribly selfish.

Yes, when I decide to cut my hair short I will donate it, but right now I like it long, and can I please go back to deciding which melon I want to buy? And I don’t like chatting with strangers so GO AWAY.

And get off my lawn.

Hrmpf.

ETA - I wish I was the sort of person who could burst into tears on a whim. Because that would be my favorite response to “Smile! It’s not that bad is it?” Or worse, “You look so much better when you smile!” By all means ask me if something’s wrong, don’t assume I’m a DebbieDowner just 'cuz I’m not a chirpy person.

63

If its someone I know, I’ll declare I am Smiling. Strangers get whatever rude remark comes to mind, the last one was, Trip when you walk away, then I’ll smile.

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To exemplify the type of person it is that says this, as a cashier once a family came up to my line to be rang up. I said “Hey, how we doing today?” or whatever greeting, and they all ignored me. Which is fine, so I just rang up their stuff without talking to them.

As I was almost done, a guy about my age in their family said, dripping with sarcasm, “My, aren’t we a ray of sunshine.” This is AFTER all three of them ignored my greeting as if I wasn’t worthy of a human response. I don’t remember my reply, but it was angry enough that he backed the hell off.

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Just last night in fact, by a stranger at a wedding reception who walked up to me and told me very drunkenly that I needed to smile, and then tried to grab at my face as if to push my lips into a smile. I slapped his hand away and told him I was just fine they way I was before the girl he was with apologized on his behalf and hustled him away. I wasn’t mad (up to that point) just exhausted.